


My Immortal

by memer



Series: My Immortal [1]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: AU, Crack, F/F, F/M, Jesus fucking christ, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-02
Updated: 2015-06-24
Packaged: 2018-04-02 12:44:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 44
Words: 19,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4060504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/memer/pseuds/memer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ken Dark'ness Dementia Raven Kaneki Way is a student at CCG School and a goth. When Tsukiyama Shuu walks into his life his world turns topsy turvy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i h8 myself
> 
> edit 9/11/2017: the my immortal author revealed herself recently and i just wanted to edit this and say that if you've found this, rose christie, i love you and i hope you're having a good day

Hi my name is Ken Dark'ness Dementia Raven Kaneki Way and I have short ken white hair (that's how I got my name) with black streaks that is pretty messy and steely gray eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Arima Cashew (AN: if u don't know who he is then get da hell out of here!). I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm a ghoul but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I go to a boarding school called CCG in Tokyo where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black battlesuit with holes showing skin on my shoulders and back and black shorts that reach my knees, and black fishnets and black combat boots.  I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation and red eye shadow. I was walking outside CCG. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

"Hey Kaneki!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was.... Tsukiyama Shuu!

"What's up Tsukiyama?" I asked.

"Nothing" he said shyly.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again. I opened the door of my coffin and ate some flesh from a package I had. My coffin was black ebony and inside it was blood red velvet with ripped fabric on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took off my giant MCR tshirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather jacket, black shorts that reach my mid-calf, black fishnets, and black combat boots. I put four sets of earrings in my pierced ears and ruffled up my hair so it looked spiky.

My friend, Touka (AN: i no kanekis best friend is hide but he will come in later stfu!) woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her short shoulder-length purple hair cut so that one bang covered her right eye and opened her violet purple eyes. She put on her Marilyn Manson tshirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Shuu Tsukiyama yesterday!" she said excitedly.

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing.

"Do you like Tsukiyama?" she asked as we went out of our dorms and into the main hall.

"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted.

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Tsukiyama walked up to me.

"Hi." he said.

"Hi." I replied flirtily.

"Guess what." he said.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in a town nearby." he told me.

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR.

"Well... do you want to go with me?" he asked.

I gasped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well it looks like gc is his only favorite band now amirite


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning for self harm and smoking/drugs. idk if it'll trigger anyone since its pretty minor but just in case

On the night of the concert I put on my black leather boots. Underneath them were tight black leggings that showed off my dick. Then I put on a black leather crop top with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching tight stuff on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. I read a depressing book by Takatsuki Sen while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some GC. I refreshed my black nail polish and put on TONS of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn’t put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert.  
  
I went outside. Shuu was waiting there in front of his flying car. He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner.  
  
“Hi Shuu!” I said in a depressed voice.  
  
“Hi Kaneki.” he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.  
  
“You come in cold, you're covered in blood  
They're all so happy you've arrived  
The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom  
She sets you free into this life.” sang Joel.  
  
“Joel is so fucking hot.” I said to Shuu, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice. Joel was probably straight though which made me feel depressed.  
  
Suddenly Shuu looked sad.  
  
“What’s wrong?” I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.  
  
“Hey, it’s ok I don’t like him better than YOU!” I said.  
  
“Really?” asked Shuu sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.  
  
“Really.” I said. “Besides I don’t even know Joel and he’s going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch.” I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face. Hetero's are so disgusting.  
  
The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Shuu. After the concert, we drank some fermented blood and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. We got GC concert tees. Shuu and I crawled like centipedes back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Shuu didn’t go back into CCG, instead he drove the car into……………………… the dark forest!


	4. Chapter 4

“SHUU!” I shouted. “What the fuck do you think you are doing?”  
  
Shuu didn’t answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.  
  
“What the fucking hell?” I asked angrily.  
  
“Kaneki?” he asked.  
  
“What?” I snapped.  
  
Shuu leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he had his kakugan activated) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn’t feel mad anymore.  
  
And then…………… suddenly just as I Shuu kissed me passionately. Shuu climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took of my pants and I took of his clothes. I even took of my underpants. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.  
  
“Oh! Oh! Oh! ” I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm. And then….  
  
“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!”  
  
It was…………………………………………………….Arima!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what the hell are you doing you motherfukers is one of my favorite quotes of all time


	5. Chapter 5

Arima made and Shuu and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

“You ludacris fools!” he shouted.

I started to cry red tears of blood down my pallid face. Shuu comforted me. When we went back to the castle Arima took us to Professor Yomo and Professor Akira who were both looking very angry.

“They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!” he yelled in a furious voice.

“Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?” asked Professor Akira.

“How dare you?” demanded Professor Yomo.

And then Shuu shrieked. “BECAUSE I LOVE HIM!”

Everyone was quiet. Arima and Professor Akira still looked mad but Professor Yomo said. “Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms.”

Shuu and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

“Are you okay, Kaneki?” Shuu asked me gently.

“Yeah I guess.” I lied. I went to the dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a black tank top with a My Chemical Romance logo on it and black shorts and barefoot. When I came out….

Shuu was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing ‘I just wanna live’ by Good Charlotte. I was so flattered, even though he wasn’t supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room (He had a different room even though we were both boys).

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im gonna upload two chapters a day since theyre pretty short anyway


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *pounds fist on table* HIDE! HIDE! HIDE! HI

The next day I woke up in my coffin. I put on black skinny jeans with all these chains and stuff and a black leather vest with a turtleneck that showed off my arms. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears.

In the main hall, I ate some chunks of flesh like cereal in a bowl of blood, and a glass of red blood. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.

“Bastard!” I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick. He was wearing red contact lenses that looked like a ghoul’s eyes. He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy Japanese accent. He looked exactly like a Japanese Gerard Way. He was wearing a bloakc leather jakcet, black skinny jeans, and gothic black headphones around his neck. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I have erectile dysfunction so I didn’t get one you sicko.

“I’m so sorry.” he said in a shy voice.

“That’s all right. What’s your name?” I questioned.

“My name’s Hideyoshi Nagachika, although most people call me Ghoul these days.” he grumbled.

“Why?” I exclaimed.

“Because I love the taste of human flesh.” he giggled.

“Well, I am a ghoul.” I confessed.

“Really?” he whimpered.

“Yeah.” I roared.

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Shuu came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.

 

 


	7. Bring me 2 life

Shuu and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs. I was wearing red Satanist sings on my nails in red nail polish. I waved to Ghoul. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Shuu. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Shuu. We went into his room and locked the door. Then…………

We started frenching passively and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. He felt me and my abs up before I took of my top. Then I took off my pants and he did too. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy’s thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?)

“Oh Shuu, Shuu!” I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Shuu’s arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words………… Ghoul!

I was so angry.

“You bastard!” I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.

“No! No! But you don’t understand!” Shuu pleaded. But I knew too much.

“No, you fucking idiot!” I shouted. “You probably have AIDs anyway!”

I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Shuu ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in Ghoul’s classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Yomo and some other people.

“GHOUL NAGACHIKA, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” I yelled.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ghoul nagachika you motherfucker


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning for mentions of suicide in this chapter. once again, it's pretty minor, but just in case

Everyone in the class stared at me and then Shuu came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.  
  
“Kaneki, it’s not what you think!” Shuu screamed sadly.  
  
My friend B'loody Kazuichi Ukelele smiled at me understatedly. He flipped his long sholder-length gothic black hair and opened his crimson eyes like blood. He had pale white skin that he was wearing white makeup on. Kazuichi was kidnapped when he was born. His real parents are powerful SS rated ghouls and one of them is a evil witch but the One Eyed Owl killed his mother and his father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. He still has nightmares about it and he is very haunted and depressed. It also turns out his real last name is Ukelele and not Banjou. (He has also converted to Stanism.)  
  
“What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!” Yomo demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.  
  
“Ghoul, I can’t believe you cheated on me with Shuu!” I shouted at him.  
  
Everyone gasped.  
  
I don’t know why Kaneki was so mad at me. I had went out with Ghoul for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Yoriko, a stupid preppy fucker. We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)  
  
“But I’m not going out with Shuu anymore!” said Ghoul.  
  
“Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!” I screamed. I ran out of the room and into the dark forest where I had lost my virility to Shuu and then I started to bust into tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly ccg is just a carbon copy of hogwarts but do i care? no


	9. Chapter 9

I was so mad and sad. I couldn’t believe Shuu for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Shuu.

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible woman with one red eye and no nose and everything started flying towards me! She didn’t have a nose (basically like Voldemort in the harry potter movie) and she was wearing all black but it was obvious she wasn’t gothic. It was…… The One Eyed Owl!

“No!” I shouted in a scared voice but then Owl stabbed me and I couldn’t run away.

“Crookshanks!” I shouted at her pointing my you-know-what. Owl fell out of the air and started to scream. I felt bad for her even though I’m a sadist so I stopped.

“Kaneki.” she yelled. “Thou must kill Ghoul Nagachika!”

I thought about Ghoul and his sexah eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like a Japanese Gerard Way. I remembered that Shuu had said I didn’t understand, so I thought, what if Shuu went out with Ghoul before I went out with him and they broke up?

“No, One Eyed Owl!” I shouted back.

Owl gave me a gun. “No! Please!” I begged.

“Thou must!” she yelled. “If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Shuu!”

"How did you know?” I asked in a surprised way.

Owl got a are-u-kidding-me look on her face. “I hath telekinesis.” she answered cruelly. “And if you doth not kill Ghoul, then thou know what will happen to Shuu!” she shouted. Then she flew away angrily.

I was so scared and mad I didn’t know what to do. Suddenly Shuu came into the woods.

“Shuu!” I said. “Hi!”

“Hi.” he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit) between Joel Madden and Gerard Way.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“No.” he answered.

“I’m sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me.” I expelled.

“That’s okay.” he said all depressed and we went back into CCG together making out.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning for mentions of suicide and self harm

I was really scared about One Eyed Olw all day. I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic Rose 666. I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar. People say that we sound like a cross between GC, Slipknot and MCR. The other people in the band are B’loody Kazuichi, Ghoul, Shuu, Hinami (although we call her Diabola now. She has black hair now with blue streaks in it.) and Yoshmura. Only today Shuu and Ghoul were depressed so they weren’t coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Shuu was probably slitting his wrists (he wouldn’t die because he was a ghoul too and the only way you can kill a ghoul is with a kagane or a steak) and Ghoul was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride. I put on a black leather shirt and tiny matching shorts that said Simple Plan on the crotch. You might think I’m a man slut but I’m really not.

We were singing a cover of ‘Helena’ and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears.

“Kaneki! Are you OK?” B’loody Kazuichi asked in a concerted voice.

“What the fuck do you think?” I asked angrily. And then I said. “Well, One Eyed Owl came and the fucking bitch told me to fucking kill Hide! But I don’t want to kill him, because, he’s really nice, even if he did go out with Shuu. But if I don’t kill Hide, then Owl, will fucking kill Shuu!” I burst into tears.  
Suddenly Shuu jumped out from behind a wall.

“Why didn’t you fucking tell me!” he shouted. “How could you- you- you fucking poser humen bitch!”

I started to cry and cry. Shuu started to cry too all sensitive. Then he ran out crying.

We practiced for one more hour. Then suddenly Arime walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn’t cause he had a headache.

“What have you done!” He started to cry wisely. “Kaneki Shuu has been found in his room. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists.”

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mentions of suicide and self harm in this chapter, also pedophilia so

“NO!” I screamed. I was horrorfied! B’loody Kazuichi tried to comfort me but I told him fuck off and I ran to my room crying myself. Arima chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way.

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists. They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. I grabbed a steak and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. I was so fucking depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black crop top that showed off my abs sandly. I put on black high heels with red metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn’t fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Yom was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Amoon was masticating to it! They were sitting on Yom’s giant kagane even thouh he has an ukak which probably wouldnt support their wait but anyway.

“EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!” I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. Suddenly Ghoul ran in.

“Abra Kedavra!” he yelled at Yomo and Amoon pointing his you-know-what. I took my gun and shot Yomo and Amoon a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Aroma ran in. “Kaneki, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” he shouted looking at Yomo and Amoon and then he waved his you-know-what and suddenly…

Yoshmura ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk.

“What do you know,Yoshmura? You’re just a little CCG student!”

“I MAY BE A CCG STUDENT….” Yoshmura paused angrily. “BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!”

“This cannot be.” Yom said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Aroma’s you-know-what had shot him. “There must be other factors.”

“YOU DON’T HAVE ANY!” I yelled in madly.

Amoon held up the camera triumelephantly. “The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!”

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not eat enough flesh.

“Why are you doing this?” Amoon said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his pants.

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and eat his flesh because I felt faint.

“BECAUSE…BECAUSE….” Yoshmura said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his you-know-what in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent.

“Because you’re goffic?” Yom asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan.

“Because I LOVE HIM!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I LOVE HIM!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> self harm and pedophilia mentions in this chapter too

I was about to slit my wrists again with the qinke-steel knife that Shoe had given me in case anything happened to him. He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together.

“NO!” I THOUGHT IT WAS YOSHmur but it was Ghoul. He started to scream. “OMFG! NOOOOO! MY YOU-KNOW-WHAT HURTS!” and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.

I stopped. “How did u know?”

“I saw it! And my you-know-what turned back into the Eiffel Tower!”

“NO!” I ran up closer. “I thought you didn’t have an Eiffel Tower anymore!” I shouted.

“I do but Diabola changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with my underwear.” he said back. “Anyway my you-know-what hurt and it turned back into the eiffel tower! Save me! then I had a vision of what was happening to Shuu…………….One Eyf Owle has him bondage!”

Anyway I was in the school nurse’s office now recovering from my slit wrists. Yom and Amoon and YOHMURA were there too. They were going to the 24th word after they recovered cause they were pedofiles and you can’t have those fucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot goffs. Arima had constipated the cideo camera they took of me naked. I put up my middle finger at them.

Anyway Yoshmura came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses.

“Kakeni I need to tell u somethnig.” he said in a v. serious voice, giving me the roses.

“Fuck off.” I told him. “You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway, and I don’t like fucked up preps like you.” I snapped. Yoshmura had been mean to me before for being gottik.

“No Kakeni.” Yoshmura says. “Those are not roses.”

“What, are they goffs too you poser prep?” I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses.

“I saved your life!” He yelled angrily. “No you didn’t I replied.” “You saved me from getting a Perez Hilton p- video made from your shower scene and being vued by Yom and Amoon.” Who MASTABATED to it he added silently.

“Whatever!” I yelled angirly.

He pointed his wand at the pink roses. “These aren’t roses.” He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered Well If you wanted Honesty that’s all you haD TO SAY! .

“That’s not a spell that’s an MCR song.” I corrected him wisely.

“I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes.” Then he screamed. “Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio(4 all u cool goffic mcr fans out, there, that is a tribute!)imo noto okayo!”

And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black. Now I knew he wasn’t a prep.

“OK I believe you now wtf is Shue?”

Yohmura rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could c nothing.

"U c, Kakenni,” Aroma said, watching the two of us watching the flame. “2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT) u mst find urslf 1st, k?”

“I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN YAOI-CHINNED MAN!” Yoshmura yelled. aROma lookd shockd. I guess he didn’t have a headache or else he would have said something back.

Yoshmura stormed off back into his bed. “U r a liar, prof arimaa!”

Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on a black leather vest that was all ripped on the ends. There was some corset stuff on the front. Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Billie Joe Armstrong on them. I put my hair all ruffled up and I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss.

“You look kuru, bro.” B’loody Kazuichi said sadly. “Fangs (geddit) you do too.” I said sadly too, but I was still upset. I slit both of my wrists feeling totally depressed and I sucked all the blood. I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Yom and Amoon couldn’t spy on me this time. I went to some classes. Ghoul was in the Hair of Ghouly Ghoul Creatures. He looked all depressed because shuu had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Shuu. He was eating some flesh from urie cookie.

“Hi.” he said in a depressed way. “Hi back.” I said in an wqually said way.

We both looked at each other for some time. Ghoul had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Shuus. Then……… we jumped on each other and started screwing each other.

“STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!” shouted Professor Akira who was watching us and so was everyone else.

“Ghoul you fucker!” I said slapping him. “Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Shuu!” I shouted and then I ran away angrily.

Just then he started to scream. “OMFG! NOOOOO! MY YOU-KNOW-WHAT HURTS!” and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.

I stopped. “How did u know?”

“I saw it! And my you-know-what turned back into the Eiffel Tower!”

“NO!” I ran up closer. “I thought you didn’t have an Eiffel Tower anymore!” I shouted.

“I do but Diabola changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with my underwear.” he said back. “Anyway my you-know-what hurt and it turned back into the eiffel tower! Save me! then I had a vision of what was happening to Shuu…………….One Eyf Owle has him bondage!”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yyou know what . i d ont even ship tsukikane. thats rught . .. i hh ate this witrh a ll my being


	13. Chapter 13

Ghoul and I ran up the stairs looking for Arima. We were so scared.

“Arima Aroma!” we both yelled. Arima came there.

“What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?” he asked angrily.

“One eye owl has Shuu!” we shouted at the same time.

He laughed in an evil voice.

“No! Don’t! We need to save Shuu!” we begged.

“No.” he said meanly. “I don’t give a darn what Owl does to Shuu. Not after how much he misbehaved in school especially with YOU Kaneki.” he said while he frowned looking at me. “Besides I never liked him that much anyway.” then he walked away. Ghoul started crying. “My Shuu!” he moaned.

“Its okay!” I tried to tell him but that didn’t stop him. He started to cry tears of blood. Then he had a brainstorm. “I had an idea!” he exclaimed.

“What?” I asked him.

“You’ll see.” he said. He took out his you-know-what and did a spell. Then…… suddenly we were in one eyed pwl’s lair!

We ran in with our you-know-whats out just as we heard a croon voice say. “Allah Kedavra!”

It was……………………………….. Owl!

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD.**

We ran to where Oql was. It turned out that Owl wasn’t there. Instead the kid who got 103 bones broken was. Shuu was there crying tears of blood. Eyeto was torturing him. Ghoul and I ran in front of Eyeto.

“Rid my sight you despicable preps!” he shouted as we started shooting him with the gun he Then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes. “KanekiIloveyouwiluhavesexwithme.” he said.

“Huh?” I asked.

”Kakeni I love you will you have sex with me?” asked Eyeto. I started laughing crudely. “What the fuck? You torture my bf and then you expect me to fuck you? God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard.” I said angrily. Then I stabbed him in the heart. Blood pored out of it like a fountain.

“Nooooooooooooo!” he screamed. He started screaming and running around. Then he fell down and died. I brust into tears sadly.

“Eyeto what art thou doing?” called Owl. Then…… she started coming! We could hear her high heels clacking to us. So we got out our kaganes and we flew to CCG. We went to my room. Ghoul went away. There I started crying.

“What’s wrong babe?” asked Shuu taking off his clothes so we could screw. He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz hes so sexah) and a really huge you-know-what and everything.

“Its so unfair!” I yielded. “Why can’t I just be ugly or plain like all da other boyz and preps here except for B’loody Kazuichi, because he’s not ugly or anything.”

“Why would you wanna be ugly? I don’t like the preps anyway. They are such fucking sluts.” answered Shuu.

“Yeah but everyone is in love with me! Like Yomo and Amoon took a video of me naked. Yoshmura says he’s in love with me. Ghoul likes me and now even Eyeto is in love with me! I just wanna be with you ok shuu! Why couldn’t Satan have made me less handsome?” I shouted angrily. (an” don’t wory kakeni isn’t a snob or anyfing but a lot of ppl hav told him hes hot) “Im good at too many things! WHY CAN’T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT’S A FUCKING CURSE!” I shouted and then I ran away.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kagunes can fly now dont fucking question it  
> also yes dicks can do magic spells
> 
> reminder that im losing followers: ~~http://beefucker6969.tumblr.com/~~ http://hide420.tumblr.com/ (i remade)


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning for self harm and mentions of suicide

“Kaneki Kaneki!” shouted Shuu sadly. “No, please, come back!”

But I was too mad.

“Whatever! Now u can go anh have sex with Ghoul!” I shouted. I stormed into my room and closed my black door with my blood-red key. It had a picture of Marylin Manson on it. He looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Shuu and Ghoul. I started to cry and weep. I took a qinke-steel razor and started to slit my wrists. I drank the blood all depressed. Then I looked at my black GC watch and noticed it was time to go to Biology class.

I put on a short ripped black gothic vest that said Anarchy on the front in blood red letters and was all ripped and a spiky belt. Under that I put on ripped black skinny jeans and boots that said Joel all over them with blood red letters. I put my ken white hair out and fluffed it up. Anyway I went downstairs feeling all sad and depressed as usual. I did sum advanced Biology work. I was turning a bloody pentagram into a black guitar. Suddenly the guitar turned to Shuu!

“Kakeni I love you!” he shouted sadly. “I dnot care what those fucker preps and posers fink. Ur da most sexah boy in the world. Before I met you I used to want to commit suicide all the time. Now I just wanna fucking be with you. I fucking love you!.” Then……………. he started to sing “Da Chronicles of Life and Death” (we considered it our song now cuz we fell in love when Joel was singing it) right in front of the entire class! His singing voice was so amazing and gothic and sexxy like a cross between Gerard, Joel, Chester, Pierre and Marilyn Manson (AN: don’t u fink dos guyz r so hot. if u dnot no who dey r get da fuk out od hr!) .

“OMFG.” I said after he was finished. Some fucking preps stared at us but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in black nail polish and were entwined with Shuu’s now) at them. “I love you!” I said and then we started to kiss just like Hilary Duff (i fukin h8 dat bitch) and CMM in a Cinderella Story. Then we went away holding hands. Amoon shouted at us but he stopped cuz everyone was clapping by how sexy we looked 2gether. Then I saw a poster saying that MCR would have a concert in the town nearby right then. We looked at each other all shocked and then we went 2gether.

 


	16. Chapter 16

We ran happily to th town. There we saw the stage where GC had played. We ran in happly. MCR were there playing ‘Helena’. I was so fucking happy! Gerard looked even sexier than he did in da pictures. Even Shuu thought so, I could totally see him getting an erection but it didn’t matter cuz I knew know that we were da only true ones for eachother. I was wearing a black leather jacket and black leather platinum boots with ripped black skinny jeans. Shuu was wearing a black baggy MCR t-shirt and black baggy pants. Anyway, we stated moshing to Helena. We frenched. We ran up 2 the front of the band to stage-dive. Suddenly, Gerard pulled off his mask. So did the others. We gasped. It wasn’t them at all. It was.,……………………….. On Eyed owl and Ageri Tree!

“Wtf Shuu im not going to a concert wid u!” I shouted angrily. “Not after what happened to me last time? Even if its MCR n u no how much I lik them”

“What cause we…you know…” he gadgetted uncomfortbli cause not many ppl like to talk a bout you-know-what.

“Yeah cause we you know!” I yielded in an angry voice.

“We won’t do that again.” Shuu promised. “This time, we’re going with an ESCORT.”

“OMFG wtf/ Are you giving into the mainstream?” I asked. “So I guess ur a prep or a Christina or what now?”

“NO.” he muttered loudly.

“R u becoming a prep or what?” I shootd angrily.

“Kakeni! I’m not! Pls come with me!” He fell down to his knees and started singing ‘Da world is black’ by GC to me.

I was flattened cause that’s not even a single, he had memorized da lyrks just 4 me!

“OK then I guess I will have to.” I said and then we frenched 4 a while and I went up 2 my room.

B’loody Kazuichi was standing there. “Hajimemashite dude.” he said happily (he spex Japanese so do i. dat menz ‘how do u do’ in japanese). “BTW Touka that fucking poser got expuld. she failed al her klasses and she skepped math.”

“It serves that fuking bich right.” I laughed angrily.

Well anyway we where felling all deprezzed. We wutsched some goffic movies like Das niteMARE b4 xmas. “Maybe Touka will die too.” I said.

“Kawai.” B’loody Kazuichi shook his head enrgtically lethrigcly. “Oh yeah o have a confession after she got expuld I murdered her and den amoon did it with her cause he’s a necphilak.”

“Kawai.” I commnted happily . We talked to each other in silence for da rest uv da movie.

“OH HEY BTw, im going to a concert with shoe tonight in The Town with mcr.” I sed. “ I need to wear like da hotset outfit EVA.”

B’Loody Kazuikhi Nodded ENREGeticALLlY. “Omfg totally lets go shopping.”

“In Hot Topic, right?” I asked, already getting out my spshcial Hot Topic Loiyalty carde.

“No.” My head snaped up.

‘WHAT?” my head spuin. I could not believe it. “B’Loody Kazuichi are u a PREP?”

“NOOOO!NOOOO!” He laughed. “I found some cool goffic stores near CCG that’s all.”

“Hu told u abut them” I askd sure it would be Shoe or Diabola or Ghoul(don’t even SAY that nam to me!). Or me.

“Aroma.” She sed. “Let me just call our tacky.”

“OMFFG AROMA?” I asked quietly.

“Yah I saw the map for the town on his desk.” She told me. “Come on let’s go.”

We were going in a few punkgoff stores SPECIALLY for the concerts in The Town. The salesperson was OMG HOTTER THAN AMY LEE EXCEPT NOT CAUSE THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE and she gave me a few suits. “We only have these for da real goffs.”

“Da real goffs?” Me and B’Loody Kazuichi asked.

“Yah u wouldn’t believe how many posers ther are in this town man! Yesterday amoon and yom tried to buy a goffic camera pouch.” She shook her head. “I dint even no they had a camera.”

“OMFG NO THEIR GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN!” I cried, running out of the changing room wearing a handsome suit with a blood red shirt under and tight blak pants that sgoed off my yu-know-what.

“Oh my satan you have to buy that outfit” The salesperson said.

“Yeah it looks totlly hot.” said B’Loody Kauichi.

“You know what I am gona give it to you free cause u look really hot in that utfit. Hey are you gonna be at the concert tonight?” she asked.

“Yeah I am actually.” I looked back at her. “Hey BTW my name’s ken dark’ness dementia PEPE kanedki way what’s yours?”

“Eto Yosh.” She said and ran a hand through her short black-dyed hair. “maybe I’ll see you there tonight.”

“Yeah I don’t think so cause I am going there with my bf shoe you sick perv!” I yelled angrily, but before she could beg me to go with her, Yoshmura flew in looking worried. “OMFG KANEDKI U NEED OT GET BACK INTO THE CASTLE NOW!”

 


	17. Chapter 17

Eto Yoshmura gave us some clothes n stuff 4 free. She said she wud help us wif makeup if she wunted koz she was relly in2 fashin n stuff. Yoshmrua kept shooting at us to cum back 2 CCG. “WTF Yoshmura?” I shouted angrily. “Fuck off you fjucking bastard.” Well anyway Touka came. Yoshmrua went away angrily.  
  
“Hey dickface you look kuru.” she said.  
  
“Yah but not as kuru as you.” I answered sadly cause Touka’s really pretty and everything. She was wearing a short black corset-thingy with blood red lace on it and a blak blood-red miniskirt, leather fish-nets and black poiny boots that showed off how pale she wuz. She had a really nice body wif big bobs and everything. She was relly thin like a modal.  
  
“So r u going 2 da concert wif Shuu?” she asked.  
  
“Yah.” I said happily.  
  
“I’m gong with Diabola.” she anserred happily. (Shes bisezual). Well anyway Shuu and Diabola came. They were both loking extremely hot and sexy and u could tell they thoufht we were ot 2. Diabola was wearing a black tank that said ‘666’ on it. She was wearing tons off makeup jus like Amy Lee. Shuu was wearing black leather pants, a gothic black GC t-shirt and black Vans he got from da Warped tower. B’loody Kazuch was going 2 da concert wif Dracola. Dracola used to be called Fishio but it tuned out dat he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were SS rated gouls. They dyed in a car crash. Fishio converted to Satanism and he went goth. He was wearing a black Wurped t-shirt, black jeans and shoes and black hair wif red streekz in it. We kall him Dracula now. Well anyway we al went 2 Shuu’s black Mercy-Bens (geddit cuz wer gpffik) that his dad Mirumo gave him. We did pot, coke and crak. Shuu and I made out. We made fun of dose stupid fuking preps. We soon got there…….I gapsed.  
  
Gerard was da sexiest guy eva! He locked even sexier den he did in pix. He had long raven blak hair n piercing blue eyes. He wuz really skinny and he had n amazing ethnic voice. We moshed 2 Helena and sum odder songz. Sudenly Gerard polled of his mask. So did the other membez. I gasped. It wasn’t Gerard at all! It was an ugly preppy woman wif no nose and 1 red eye... Every1 ran away but me and Shuu. Shuu and I came. It was…….One eyed olw and Ageri Tree!  
  
“U moronic idiots!” she shooted angstily. “Kakeni, I told u to kill Ghoul. Thou have failed. And now……….I shall kill thou and Shuu!”  
  
“No no please!” We begged sadly but she took out her knife.  
  
Sudenly a gothic old man flu in on his qinke. He had goffic black hair and sexxxy blakc glases. He wus werring a blak suit dat sed ‘avril lavigne’ on da back. He shotted a spel and One Eyed Olw ran away. It was…………………………………AROMA!


	18. Chapter 18

I woke up the next day in my coffin. I walked out of it and put on some black eyeliner, black eyesharrow, blood-bed lipstick and a black vest that was all ripped and in stripes so you could see my abz. I was wearing a skull belly ring with black and red diamonds inside it.  
  
(Da night before Shuu and I rent back to the skull (geddit skull koz im goffik n I like deth). Arema chased ONe Eyed Olw away. We flew there on our kaganes. Mine was red and had lace all over it. THere were four of them. Shuu had a purple MCR kagen. We went back to our rooms and we had you-know-what to a Linkin Park song.)  
  
Well anyway I went down to the mane hall. There all da walls were painted black and da tables were black too. But you fould see that there was pink pant underneath the black pant. And there were pastors of poser bands everywhere, like Ashlee Simpson and the Backstreet Boys.  
  
“WTF!” I shouted going to sit next to B’loody Kazuichi and Touka. B’loody Kazuichi was wearing a black leather vest that said Good Charloote on it, black fishnets and black pointy boots. Touka was wearing a long gothic blak dress with blood red writing that was all lacy and came up to your thighs and black boots and fishnets. Ghoul, Dracula and Shuu came. We started to talk about who was sexier, Mikey or Gerard Way or Billie Joe Armstrong.  
  
“Those guys are so fucking hot.” Fishio was saying as suddenly a gothic old man with black glasses and everything came. He was the same one who had chassed away One Eyed Olw yesterday. He had normal tan skin but he was wearing white foundation and he had died his hare black.  
  
“……………….ARIMA?1!” we all gasped.  
  
“WTF?” I shouted angrily. “I thought he was just wearing that to scare Oen Eyed Owl!”  
  
“Hello everyone.” he said happily. “As u can see I gave the room a makeover. Whjat do u fink about it?”  
  
Everyone from the poser table started to cheer. Well we goths just looked at each other all disfusted and shook our heads. We couldn’t believe what a poser he was!1.  
  
“BTW you can call me Cashew.” HE CALLED AS WE LEFT to our classes.  
  
“What a fucking poser!” Shuu shouted angrily as we we to Ghoulfamation. We were holding hands. Ghoul looked really jealous. I could see him crying blood in a gothic way (geddit, way lik Gerard) but I didn’t say anything. “I bet he’s havin a mid-life crisis!” Touka shouted.  
  
I was so fucking angry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AROMA CASHEW


	19. im nut ok i promise

All day we sat angerly finking about Arimma. We were so fucking pissed off. Well, I had one thing to look forward too- da MCR concert. It had been postphoned, so we could all go.  
  
Anyway, I went to the common room sadly to cut classes. Shuu was being all secretive.  
  
I asked what it was and he got all mad me and started crying all hot and angsty.  
  
“No one fucking understands me!1” he shouted angrily as his purple hare went in his big purple eyes like Billie Joe in Boulevard of Borken Dreamz. He was wearing black baggy paints, a black MCR t-shirt and a black die. (geddit insted of tie koz im goffik) I was wearing a blak leather crop top with chains all over it all over it a blak leather shorts, black high held boots and a cross belly fing.  
  
“Accuse me? What about me!” I growled.  
  
“Buy-but-but-” he grunted.  
  
“You fucking bastard!” I moaned.  
  
“No! Wait! It’s not what it fucking looks like!” he shouted.  
  
But it was to late. I knew what I herd. I ran to the bathroom angrily, cring. Shuu banged on the door. I whipped and whepped as my blody eyeliner streammed down my cheeks and made cool tears down my feces like Benji in the video for Girls and Bois. I TOOOK OUT A CIGARETE END STARTED TO smoke pot.  
  
Suddenly Yoshmura came. He had appeared.  
  
“You gave me a fucking shock!” I shouted angrily dropping my pot. “Wtf do you fink you’re doing in da studntz’s bathroom?”  
  
Only it wasn’t just Ysohmura. Someone else was with him too! For a second I wanted it 2 b Eto Yosh or maybe Shuu but it was Aroma.  
  
“Hey I need to ask you a question.” he said, pulling out his black wanabe-goffik purse. “What are u wearing to the concert?”  
  
“U no who MCR r!” I gasped.  
  
“No I just saw there was a concert dat a lot of gothz and punx were going 2.” He said. “Anyway Shuu has a surprise for u.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ive been so excited to post this one i lov it
> 
> tw for self harm and pedophilia mentions tho

All day I wondered what the surprise was. Meanwhile, I pot on blak ledder pants, a blak corset with urple lace stuff all over it, an black gothic compact boots. MCR were gong 2 do the concert again, since Onx Eyed Owl had taken over the last one. I slit my wrists while I moshed 2 MCR in my bedroom all night, feeling excited. Suddenly someone knocked on the door while I was trying on sum black clothes and moshing to Fang u 4 da Venom. I gut all mad and turned it of, but sacredly I hopped inside dat it was Shuu so we could do it again.  
  
“Wut de fucking hell r u doing!” I shouted angrily. It was Amoon! “R u gonna cum take more nekid photoz of me or what.” I yelled. I was allowed to say dat because Aroma had told us all 2 be careful around hem and Yom since he was a pedo.  
  
“No, actshelly (geddit, hell) kan I plz burrow sum condemns.” he growld angrily.  
  
“Yah, so u can fuk ur six-yr-old gurlfriend, huh?” I shouted sarkastikally.  
  
“Fuker.” He said, gong away.  
  
Well anyway, I put on some black eyesharow, black eyeliner, and some black lipstick and white foundation. Then I went. Den I gasped…………………………………………………………….Yorm and Amoon were in da middle of da empty hall, doin it, and Urie was watching!1  
  
“Oh my god you ludacris idiot!” they both shooted angrily when they saw me. Urie ran away crying. Dey got up, though. Normally I wood have ben turned on (I luv cing ppl do it) but both of them were fuking preps.  
  
“WTF is that why u wanted condoms?” I asked sadistically.  
  
“Only you wouldn’t give them to me!” Ampkin shouted angrily.  
  
“Well you shoulda told me.” I replayed.  
  
“You dimwit!.” Yorm began 2 shoot angrily. And then………I took out my black camera and took a pic of them. U could see that they were naked and everything.  
  
“Well xcuse me!” they both shouted angrily. “What was dat al about?”  
  
“It wuz to blackmail u.” I snarked. “So now next time you see me doing it with my boyfriend you cant fuking rat me out or I’ll show dis to Arimjob. So fuck off, u bastards!” I started to run. They chased me but I threw my you-know-what at them and dey tripped over it. Well anyway, I went outside and there was Ghoul, looking extremely fucking hot.  
  
“WTF where’d Shuu?” I asked him.  
  
“Oh he’s bein a fucking bastard. He told me he wouldn’t cum.” Ghoul said shaking his hed. “U wanna cum with me? 2 the concert?”  
  
Then….. he showed me his flying car. I gasped. It was a black car. He said his father Yoshtoki Washew had given it 2 him. The license plate on the front sed MCR666 on it. The one on da back said ‘KAKENI’ on it.  
  
……….I gasped.  
  
We flew to the concert hall. MCR were there, playing.  
  
Ghoul and I began 2 make out, moshing to the muzik. I gapsed, looking at da band.  
  
I almost had an orgasim. Gerard was so fucking hot! He begin 2 sing ‘Helena’ and his sexah beautiful voice began 2 fill the hall. ……….And den, I heard some crrying. I turned and saw Shuu, cryin in a corner.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for self harm and suicide

Later we all went in the skull. Shuu was crying in da common room. “Shuu are u okay?” I asked in a gothic voice.  
  
“No I’m not u fuking bastard!” he shouted angrily. He stated to run out of the place in a suicidal way. I stated to cry cuz I was afraid he would commit suicide.  
  
“Its ok Kakeni.” said Ghoul comfortly. “Ill make him feel better.”  
  
“U mean you’ll go fuck him wont you!” I shouted angrily. Then I ran 2 get Shuu. Ghoul came too.  
  
“Shuu please come!” he began to cry. Tears of blood came down his pail face. I wuz so turned on.  
  
And then………………………….. we herd sum footsteps! Ghoul got out his blak invincibility coke. We both gut under it. We saw the janitor Mr. Koma there, shouting angrily with a flashlight in his hand.  
  
“WHOSE THERE!” he shouted angrily. We saw Cum come. He went unda da invisibility cloke and started to meow loudly.  
  
“IS ANY1 THERE!” yelled Mr. Koma.  
  
“No fuck u you preppy little poser sun of a fukcing bich!” Ghoul said under his breast in a disgusted way.  
  
“EXCUS ME! EXCUS ME WHO SED DAT!” yelled Mr. Koma. Den he heard Cummy meow. “Cum is der any1 unda da cloak!” he asked. Cum nodded. And then……………………….Ghul frenched me! He did it jus as…………………….. Mr. Koma was taking of da cloak!1  
  
“WHAT DA-” he yelled but it was 2 late cuz now we were ruining away frum him. And den we saw Shuu crying n bustin in2 tearz and slitting his rists outside of da school.  
  
“Shuu!” I cried. “R u okay?”  
  
“I guess though.” Shuu weeped. We went back to our coffins frenching each other. Shuu and I decided to watch Lake Placid (c isnt da deprezzin) on the gothic red bed together. As I wuz about 2 put in the video, my eyes rolled up and suddenly I had a vision of something that was happening now. There was a knok on the door and Tata and da Mystery of Ghoulz walked into the school!1


	22. Chapter 22

All day everyone talked about the Misery of Ghoulz. Well anyway, I woke up the next day. I was in my coffin so I opened the door. I was wearing blak ripped leather pajamas. Then I gasped.  
  
Standing in front of me where………………. B;loody Kazuichi, Ghoul, Diabola, Shuu, Dracula and Touka!  
  
I opened my crimson eyes. Touka was wearing a tight black leather top with pictures of bloody roses all over it. Under that she wart a black poofy skirt wit lace on it and black gothic boots that was attached to the top. Ghoul was wearing a baggy Simple Plan t-shirt and baggy black pants and Vans. Shuu was wearing a black MCR t-shirt and blak jeans and a leather jacket. He looked just likee Gerard Way, and almost as fucking sexy. Ghoul looked like Joel Madden. B’loody Kazuichi was wearing a tight black gothic suit that he had ripped so it showed of all his abz with a white apron that said ‘bich’ and other swear words and MCR lyrics on it kind of like one dress I had seen Amy Lee wear once. Darkness (who is Sedo) was there too. He was weaving a ripped gothic black hoody with ripped stuff all over it and black pointy boots. It turns out that Darkness and Diabolos dad was a vampire. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists with a razor. They all got so depressed that they became goffik and converted to Stanism.  
  
“OMFG” I yielded as I jumped up. “Why the fuck are u all here?”  
  
“Kakeni something is really fucked up.” Shuu said.  
  
“OK but I need to put my fucking clothes on first.” I shouted angrily.  
  
“It’s all right. We have to go now and you look kuru anyway. Your so fucking hot.” Shuu said in a sexy voice.  
  
“Oh all right.” I said smiling. “But you have to tell me why your being all erective.”  
  
“I will I will.” he said.  
  
So I just put on some black eyeliner, black lipstick and red eyeshadow and white foundation. Then I came. We all went outside the Great Hal and looked in from a widow. A fucking prep called Yorkio was standing next to us. She was wearing a pink mini and a Hilary Duff t-shirt so we put up our middle fingers at her. Inside the Great Hall we could see Arimjob. Totoro was there shouting at Arima. Norbo was there too.  
  
“THIS CANNOT BE!” he shouted angrily. “THE SCHOOL MUST BE CLOSED!”  
  
“THE BARK LORD IS PLANNING TO KILL THE STUDENTS!” yelled Totoro.  
  
“YOU ARE NOT FIT TO BE THE PRINCIPAL ANY LONGER!” yelled Norbo. “YOU ARE TOO OLD AND YOUR ALZHEIMERS IS DANGEROUS! YOU MUST RETRY OR OWL WILL KILL YOUR STUDENTS!”  
  
“Very well.” Arima said angrily. “Butt we cannot do this. We can’t close the school. There is only one person who is capable of killing Owl and he is in the school. And his name is…………………………………………………………………..Ken Dark’ness Dementia Raven Kakeki Way.”  
  
Shuu, Darkness, Touka, Ghoul and B’loody Kazuichi looked at each other………I gasped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woahhhhhhh we're halfway there
> 
> (please remind me to add suzuya and uta at some point bc i keep forgetting they exist)


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for self harm

The door opened and Norbo and Totoro stomped out angrily. Then Arira and Norbo sawed us.  
  
“MR. WAY WHAT THE BEEP ARE YOU DOING!” Noro shouted angrily. Arima blared at him.  
  
“Oops he made a mistake!” he corrupted him. “He means hi everybody cum in!”  
  
Well we all came in angrily. So did all the other students. I sat between Darkness and Shuu and opposite B’loody Kazuichi. Touka and Diabola started 2 make some morbid jokes. I eight some flesh and drank som blood from a cup. Then I herd someone shooting angrily. I looked behind me it was………Ghoul! He and Shuu were shooting at eachother.  
  
“Ghoul, Shuu WTF?” I asked.  
  
“You fucking bustard!” yelled Shuu at Ghoul. “I want to shit next to him!1”  
  
“No I do!” shouted.  
  
“No he doesn’t fucking like u, you son of a bitch!” yelled Shuu.  
  
“No fuck you motherfucker he laves me not you!” shouted Ghoul. And then……………… he jumped on Shuu! (no not in dat way u perv) They started to fight and beat up each other.  
  
Arma yelled at them but they didn’t stop. All of a sudden…… a terrible woman with 1 red eye and no nose flew in on her kagane. She had no nose and was wearing a gray robe. All the glass in the window he flew thru fell apart. Yoriko that fucking prep started to cry. Ghoul and Shuu stopped fighting….I shopped eating….Everyone gasped. Da room fell silent………………….One Eze Owl!  
  
“Kaneni…..Kaneki…….” Darth Valer sed evilly in her raspy voice. “Thou havfe failed ur mission. Now I shall kill thou and I shall kill Ghoul as well. If thou does not kill him before then I shall kill Tsukiyama too!”  
  
“Plz don’t make me kill him plz!” I begged.  
  
“No!” she laughed crudely. “Kill him, or I shall kill him anyway!” Then he flew away cackling.  
  
I bust into tears. Shuu and Ghoul came to contort me. Suddenly my eyes rolled up so they looked all cool and gothic. I had a vision were I saw some lighting flash and then On Eyed Orl coming to kill Shuu while Shuu slit his wrists in a depressed way.  
  
“No!” I screamed sexily. Suddenly I locked up and stopped having the vision.  
  
“Kaneki Kaneki aure you alright?” asked Shuu in a worried voice.  
  
“Yeah yeah.” I said sadly as I got up.  
  
“Everyfing’s all right Kakeni.” said Ghoul all sensetive.  
  
“No its not!” I shouted angrily. Tearz of blood went down my face. “OMFG what if I’m getting possessed like in Da Ring 2!”  
  
“Its ok dude.” said B’loody Kazuichi. “Maybe u should ask Proffesor Suxuya about what the visions mean though.”  
  
“Ok fukcface.” I said sadly and den we went.


	24. Chapter 24

Well we had kinky next so I got to ask Proffessor SExaya about the visions.  
  
“Konnichiwa everybody come in.” said Proffesor Suzuya in Japanese. He smelled at me with his gothic black lipstick. He’s da coolest fucking teacher ever. He had long dead black hair with blood red bobby pins and red eyes. (hs mom woz a vampire. He’s also haf Japanese so he speaks it and everyfing. he n b’loody kazchi get along grate) He’s really young for a teacher. He has red stiches in his skin on his neck and arms and stuff. 2day he was wearing a black leather top with red ripped stuff and leather pants. We went inside the black classroom with pastors of Emily the Strong. I raced my hand. I was wearing some black naie Polish with red pentagrams on it.  
  
“What is it Kaneki?” he asked. “Hey I love ur nail polish where’d u get it, Hot Topik?”  
  
“Yeah.” I answered. All the preps who didn’t know what HT was gave me weird looks. I gave them the middle finger. “Well I have to talk to you about some fings. When do you want to due it?”  
  
“Ho about now?” he asked.  
  
“OK.” I said.  
  
“OK class fucking dismissed every1.” Proffesor Sexaya said and he let every1 go. “Except for you Yoriko.” he pointed at Yoriko and sum other preps. “Please do exorcize (geddit) 1 on page 3.”  
  
“OK I’m having lotz of visions.” I said in a worried voice. I’m so worried is Shuu gong 2 die.  
  
Well he gave me a black cryptal ball to lock in. I looked at it.  
  
“What do you c?” he asked.  
  
“I said I see a black gothic skull and a pentagram.”  
  
Suddenly there was a knock at the door. I looked at it. It was Shuu. He was looking really sexy wearing a black leather facet, a black gothic Linkin Park t-shirt and blak Congress shoes.  
  
“Okay you can go now, see ya cunt.” said Proffesor Suzu.  
  
“Bye fuck.” I said waving.  
  
I went to Shuu and Ghoul was sitting next to him. We both followed Shuu together and I was so exhibited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> suzuya actually looks like himself in this he already looks goffik oh hmy god


	25. Chapter 25

I was so excited. I fellowed Shuu wandering if we where going 2 do it again. We went outside and then we went into Shuu’s black car.  
  
“Kaneki what the fuck did Profesor Subway say.” whispered Shuu potting his gothic whit hand with bvlak nail polish on mine.  
  
“She said she would tell me what the visions meant torromow.” I grumbled in a sexy voice. He took out a heroin cabaret and spiked it, and gave it to me to spork. He started to fly the car into a tree. We went to the top of it. Shuu put on some MCR.  
  
“And all the things that you never ever told me  
And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me.” sang Gerard’s sexy voice. We started tiling of each other’s cloves fevently. He took of my blak thong and my black leather bar. I took of his black boxers. Then……………………… I put my trobbing you-know-what in his thing sexily.  
  
“OMFG Kaneki Kaneki!” he screamed having an orgism. We stated frenching passively. Suddenly………… I fell asleep. I started having a dream. In it a black guy was shooting two goffik men with long black hair.  
  
“No! Please don’t fucking kill us!1” they pleaded but he just kept shooting them. He ran away in a red car.  
  
“No! Oh my fucking god!11” I shouted in a scared voice.  
  
“Kaneki what’s wrong?” Shuu asked me as I woke up opening my icy blue eyes.  
  
I started to cry and tears of blood went down my face. I told Shuu to call Ghoul. He did it with his blak Likin Park mobile. Butt the worst thing was who the ppl who were shot in the dream where……………………… Mirumo and Yoshitoky!111


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for self harm

A few mutates later Ghoul came 2 da tree. He was wearing a blak leather jackson, black leather pants and a Good Chralotte t-shirt.  
  
“Hi Ghoul.” I said flirtily as I started to sob. Shuu hugged me sexily tryont to comfrot me. I started to cry tears of blood and then told them what happened.  
  
“Oh fuck it!” Ghoul shouted angrily. He4 started to cry sadly. “What fucking dick did that!”  
  
“I don’t know.” I said. “Now come on we have 2 tell Arim.”  
  
We ran out of the tree and in2 da castle. Arim was sitting in his office.  
  
“Sire are dads have been shot!” Shuu said while we wipped sum tears from his white face. “Kakeni had a vision in a dreem.”  
  
Aimr started to cockle. “Hahahaha! And How due u aspect me to know Kaneki’s not divisional?”  
  
I glared at Arima.  
  
“Look motherfucker.” he said angrily as Arima gasped (c is da toot of crakter). “U know very well that I’m not decisional. Now get some fucking ppl out there to look for Yoshituk and Mirumo- pornto!”  
  
“Okay.” he said in a intimated voice. “Were are they?”  
  
I fought about it. Then all of a sudden….. “Koyto.” I said. I told him which street. He went and called some people and did some stuff. After a few mistunes he came back and said people were going out looking for them. After a while someone called him again. He said that they had been found. Shuu, Ghoul and I all left to our rooms together. I went with Shuu to wait in the nurses office while Ghoul went to slit his wrists in his room. We looked at each other’s gothic, derperessed eyes. Then, we kissed. Suddenly Yoshitoki and Mirumo came in on stretchers……………………….and Proffesor Suzaya was behind them!1


	27. goulz wil never hurt u

Every1 in the room stated to cry happly- I had saved them. Shoe, Mirumo, Yoshitoki bond Ghoul all came to hug me. The nurse started to give them medicine.  
  
“Cum on Kakeni.” said Proffesor Suzaya. He was wearing a gothic blak leader jaket with a corset top and real vampir blood on it and fuking black platinum boots. “I have to tell you the fucking perdition.”  
  
I locked at Mirumo, Yoshi, Shor and Ghoul. They nodded.  
  
I smelled happily and went into a dark room. I had changed Profesor Sunzu took out some black cards. He started to look into a black crucible ball. He said……………………… “Pepe, I see drak times are near.” She said badly. She peered into da balls. “You see, you must go back in time.” She took out a Time-Toner like B’loody Kazuichi had. “When One Egg Owl was in CCG before she became powerful she gut her hearth borken. Now do you fink she would still become One Ey Owl if she was in love?” I shook my head. “U must go back in time and sedouce her. It is the only way. If she is still evil then you must kill her. You can come to my room tomorrow and you can do it.”  
  
“Okay.” I said sadly. We did dethz tuch sin. I went outside again sadly.  
  
“What fucking happened?” asked Shuu and Ghoul.  
  
“Yeah what happened?” asked Darkness, Touka and Boldy Kazuichi?  
  
I was about to tell them butt every1 was there. They were celebrating Mirumo and Yoshitokyo being fond. Everyone was proud of me butt I jut wonted 2 talk 2 Shuu. They were cheesing my name and some reporters were there, trying to interview Aroma. A banner was put up. Lotz of fucking prepz were there oviously tring 2 be b goffik wering the HIM sign on their handz- depite them not having akshelly heard of him. Even Mr. Koma looked happy. A blak and red cake had been brought out. Uta and Irim set up some fireworx in the shape of skulls from Anetku.  
  
I put on my Invisibility coke with Ghoul and Shuu and we sneaked outside 2gether.


	28. Chapter 28

We went in2 a blak room. The wallz were blak with portraits of gothic bands lik MCR, GC and Marlin Mason all over them. A big black coffin was in the middle. Red vevlet lined da blak box. There were three chairs made of bones with real skullz in dem. I wuz wearing a blak corset bar wif purple stuff on it, thigh high suckings and a blak leather thong underneath.  
  
I sat down one of da chairs dispersedly. So did Shoe and Ghoul.  
  
“Are you okay?” Ghou asked potting his albastard hand on mine. He was wearing black nail polish. I was wearing blak nail polish with red crosses on it.  
  
“Yah I guess.” I said sadly. Shoe also pot his hand on mine sexily. I smiled sadly with my blak lipstick. “The problem is……………………….I have to seduce One Ey Owl. Ill have 2 go bak in time”  
  
Shuu started to cry sadly. Ghoul hugged him.  
  
“Itz okay Kaneni.” he said finally. “But what about me? Ur not gonna brake up or anyfing, are you?”  
  
“Of coarse not!” I gasped.  
  
“Really?” he asked.  
  
“Sure.” I said.  
  
We frenched sexily. Ghoul looked at us longingly.  
  
Then………… I took off Shuu’s MCR shrift and seductvely took of his pants. He was hung lik a stallone. He had replaced the Ghoul tattoo that said Kakeni on it. Black roses were around it. I gasped. He lookd exactly lik Gerard Way. Ghoul took a vido camera. (I had sed it wuz ok b4).  
  
I took of my clothes den we were in 4 da rid of r lif.  
  
We started freching as we climbed into the cofin. He put his spock in my you-know-what and passively we did it.  
  
“I love you Kaneni. Oh let me feel u I need 2 feel u.” he screamed as we got an orgasm. We watched Ghoul filmed everything perfectly. Suddenly………………………….  
  
“WHAT THE FUCK R U DOING!”  
  
It was………………………….Yamo and Profesor Akera!111


	29. Chapter 29

“Oh my satan!1” we screamed as we jamped out of da coffin. Yom and Professor Aakoira started to shoot at us angrily.  
  
“CUM NOW!1!” Preacher Aker yielded. We did guiltily. We left the room putting on our clothes. Yoom garbed the caramel and put it in his pocket.  
  
“Hey what the fuck!111” Ghoul shooted angrily.  
  
“Yeah buster what the fuck are u going to do with the fucking camera?” Shuu demonded all protective, looking at me Longley with his gothic red eyes. “Look, Arimba noes your little secret and if u do dis again, then u will go to da 24th word. So give back da camera!1111”  
  
Hahahaha the Mystery of Goulz thinks he is crazy there is no way dey wil believe him. Yoom laughed meanly.  
  
“Yes so shut your mputh you inlosent fools!” yelled Proffesor Aikira. She made us cum into a weird room with white stones all around it. There were all these werid tools in it. Shuu started to cry all sexy and sexitive (geddit koz hes a sexbom lol tom felnot rulez 4 lif but nut as muxh as gerard ur sex on legz I luv u u fokeng rok mary me!111).  
  
I started to cry tearz of blood. Ghoul took out a black honkerchief and started to wipe my red eyes.  
  
And then……………….. he and Yoom both took out guns using magic. They started to shoot each other angrily. Non of the ballots gut on eachodder yet. I took out my wand.  
  
“Crosio!” I shouted pointing my you-know-what. Yom stated 2 scram he dropd da gun. But it was too late. Both of them had run out of ballets. I STOPPED DA CURSE. Profesor Akora did a spell so that we were all chained up. She took out a box of tools. Den she said “OK Renig I’m going 2 go now.” She left. Yom started to laugh evilly. Ghoul started to cry.  
  
“It’s ok Kakeni.” said Shuu. “Evergreen will be all right. Remember the cideo u took of Yam.”  
  
Yomo laughed again. And then...he took out some whips!1!1111


	30. Chapter 30

“No!11” we screamed sadly. Yom stated loafing meanly. He took out a kamera anvilly. Then…………………… he came tords Shoe!1! He took sum stones out of his poket. He put da stones around Shuu and nit a candle.  
  
“What the fuck r u doing!” I shooted arngrily. Yoom laughed meanly. He polled down his pants. I gasped- there was a kagane where his you-know-what sohuld be11!  
  
He waved his wand and a nife came. He gave da knife 2 me.  
  
“U must stab Ghaul.” he said to me. “If u don’t then I’ll eat Shuu!1”  
  
“No you fucking bastrad!1” I yielded.  
  
But den Shuu looked at me sadly with his evil goffik red eyes dat looked so depressant and sexy. He lookd exactly like a pentragram (lol geddit koz im a satanist) between Kurt Cobain and Gerard. But then I looked at Ghoul and he looked so smexy too wif his goffik black hair. I thought of da time when we screwed and the time I did it with Shuu and Aroma came and the tame where Shuu almost commited suicide and Ghoul wuz so sportive.  
  
Yumo laughed angrily. He started to prey to One Ey Wowld. He started to do an incapacitation dancing around the stokes whipping Shuu and Ghoul. Suddenly an idea I had. I clozd my eyes and using my ghoul powers I sent a telepathetic massage to Shue and Ghoul so they would destruct Yomo.  
  
“Aremma will get u!” Shuu shooted.  
  
“Yah just wait ubtil da Mystery find out!11” Ghoul yelled. Meanwhile I took out my you-know-what.  
  
“You ridiculus dondderhed!111” Yoom yielded. He took off all of Shi’s clothes. Just as he was about to eat him…………………….  
  
“Crosio!” I shited pointing my you-now-waht. Yoom scremed and started running around da room screming. Meanwhile I grabed my blak mobile and sent a txt 2 Yoishitok. I stopped doing crucio.  
  
“You dunderhed!111 Im going to kill-” shooted Yomo but suddenly Renji came.  
  
Yamo put the whip behind his bak. “Oh hello Ren I wuz just teaching them sumthing.” he lied. But suddenly Miram0o and Profesor SuZUYa came in2 da room and they and Yosihitoki unlocked the chains and put dem around Yom. Then Profesor Susxya said ‘Come on Kaneki let’s go.”


	31. Chapter 31

“I always knew u were on Owl’s side, you sun of a bitcoin.” Yoshihtoki said 2 Yomo.  
  
“No I’m not I was teaching them somefing!1” Yom clamed.  
  
“Oh fucking yeah?” I took some blak Owlserum out of my poket and gave it to Washew. He made Yom dirnk it. He did arngrily. Then Mirump took out a tape recorder and started playing it while he did kagane things on Yom. Then Proffesor Sunzuya and Miruno made us get out wif them while Yomo told his secretes. Mirumo took Ghul and Shuu to the nurse after thanking me a millon times. Profesor Juuuzo took me to a dark room. Now I wuz going to go back in time to sedouce One Eyds Owl. Moving posters of MCR and Nrivana were all over. Banjou, Darkness and Touka came too. B’loody Kazuichi gave me a blak bag from Eto Yosh’s store.  
  
“Whatz in da bag?” I asked Profesor Suzuna.  
  
“U will c.” he said. I opened thee bag. In it was a sexy tite black leather gothic crop top. It had red korset stuff. I put it on. My frendz helped me put on blak tites and blak pointy boots Touka had chosen. Touka and Darkness helped me put on black eyeliner and blod-red lipshtick.  
  
“You look fucking kuru, bro.” B’loody Kazuichi said.  
  
“Fangs.” I said.  
  
“Ok now you’re going to go back in tim.” said Proffesor Suzuya. “U will have to do it in a few sessionz.” He gave me a blak gun. I put it in a strap on my ttis like in Redisnet Evill. Then he gave me a black time-tuner. “After an hour use da time torner to go back here.” Proffesor Sunuziya said. Then he and B’loody Kachuichi put a Pensive in front of me. Every1 went in front of it.  
  
“Good luk!1” Everryone shooted. Darkess and Touka gave me deth’s touch sin. Then……….. I jumped sexily in2 da Pensive.  
  
Suddenly I was in fornt of teh School. In front of me wuz one of da sexiest goth gurlz I had ever seen. She was wering long blak hair, kinda like AmY Lee. She had gren eyes like Billie Joe Amstrung and pale whit skin. She wuz wearing a blak ripped up dress wif Vans. It was…………………….Eto Bombodil!1111


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> suzuya is getting addicted to a drug!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tw for tht

“Hi.” I said flirtily. “Im Kakeni Way da new student.” I shok my pale handz wif their blak noil polish wif her.  
  
“Da name’s Eto.” she said. “But u kan call me Satan. Datz ma middle nam”  
  
We shok hands. “Well come on we have 2 go upstairs.” Satan said. I followed her. “Hey Satan……..do u happen to be a fan of Gren Day?” (sinz mcr and evinezenz dont exist yet den) I asked.  
  
“Oh my fuking god, how did u know?” Satan gasped. “actually I like gc a lot too.”(geddit coz gc did that song I just wanna live that’s ounded really 80s)  
  
“omg me too!” I replied happily.  
  
“guess what they have a concert in the vileg.” satan whispered.  
  
“Vilage?” I asked.  
  
“yeah that’s what they used to call it in these time before it became Town in 2000.” she told me all sekrtivly. “and theres a really cool shop called Hot-“  
  
‘topic!” I finshed, happy again.  
  
She froned confusedly. “noo its called Hot Ishoo.” She smiled skrtvli again. “then in 1998 dey changd it to hot topic.” she moaned.  
  
“ohh.” now everything was making sense for me. “so is arom your princepill?” I shouted.  
  
“uh-huh.” she looked at her black nails. “u go to this skull?”(geddit cos im goffik) she asked.  
  
“yah that’s why im here im NEW.” I SMELLED HAPPili.  
  
Suddenly aroma flew in on his broomstuck and started shredding at us angrily. “NO TALKING IN THE HALLS!” he had short blonde hair and was wearing a polo shirt from Amrikan ogle outfters. “STUPID GOFFS!”  
  
satan rolled her eyes. “his so mean to us goffs and punks just becose we’re not preps.”  
  
I turned around angrily. “actually I fink mebe its becos ur da barke lord.”  
  
“wtf?” she asked angrily.  
  
“oh nuffin.” I said sweetly.  
  
then suddenlyn………………. the floor opened. “OMFG NO I SCEAMED AS I FEEL DOWN. everyone looked At ME weirdly.”  
  
“hey where r u goin?” satan asked as I fell.  
  
I got out of the hole n it was bak in the pensive in professor suzuna’s classroom. arome wuz dere. “aroma I think I just met u.” I said.  
  
“oh yeah I rememba that.” arom said, trying to be all goffik.  
  
suzuya came in. “hey dis is my classroom wait wtf kakeni what da hell r u doing?”  
  
:”um.” I looked at him.  
  
“oh yeaH I forgot bout that.”  
  
“wth how?” I screamed forgetting he was a teacher for a second. but hes a goff so its ok.  
  
professor suxuya looked sad. “um I was drinking owlserum.” he started to cry black tears of depression. arome didn’t know about them.  
  
“hey r u crying tears of blood?” he asked curiously, tuching a tear.  
  
“fuck off!” we both said and arome took his hand away.  
  
professor suzuya started crying again in his chair, sobbing limpid tears. “omfg kakeni…I think im addicted to Owlserum.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updates might be patchy for like. 2 weeks? i probably wont update for the next couple of days. im going to a family reunion 4 states away and it takes 10 hours to get there. they also have pretty bad internet (on a ffuckign MOHUNTIAN where u can see the entire fuckening ,milky ay at night() so i might not be able to update. ill try to tho


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for pedophilia mention

“Oh my fuking god!1” I shooted sadly. “Shud we get u 2 the 24th wored?”  
  
“Hel no!” he said. “Lizzen Kagegi, I need ur help. Nex tim u go bak in tim, do u fink u kod ask Eto Andorson 4 sum help?”  
  
“Sure I said sadly. I went outside the door. Shuu was there!111 He wuz wearing a big blak GC tshit which wuz his panamas.  
  
“Hey Sexxy.” I said.  
  
“How’d it go Kakeni?” he asked in his voice was so sexy and low kinda like Gerard Way when hes talking.  
  
“Fine.” I reponded. We stared 2 go bak in2 da dorm.  
  
“How far did u go wif Satan?” Shoe asked jealously.  
  
“Not 2 far, lol.” I borked.  
  
“Will you hav to do it with her?” Shuu asked angstily.  
  
“I hop not 2 far!111” I shouted angrily. Den I felt bad 4 shooting at him. I said sorry. We frenched.  
  
“What happened 2 Yam?” I growled.  
  
“U will see.” Shuu giggled mistressly. He opened a door……………Yom nd Ampkin werz there!11 Yoishitok waz pokering dem by staging dem wif a blak nife.  
  
“NOOOO PLZ!1111” Ampkin bagged as Yoskittoki started 2 suk his blood. I laffed statistically. I tok some photons of him and Yom bing torqued. (ok I no dis iz men but fink abot it ppl dey r pedoz nd Yom trid 2 eat dem and neway sadiztz rok haz any1 seen shrak atak 3 lolz). We took sum of Yam’s blod den Shoe and I went bak 2 our roomz. We sat on my goffik blak coffin. My cloves were kinda drity so I pot on a blak leather outfit fingie kinda like da 1 Suelene haz in Undreworld. (if u haven’t herd of it den FUK U!111) . I put on some blak platform high heelz. Sheu put on ‘desolition liverz’ by MCR. Den………………………………………….we storted 2 take of eachotherz clozez. I tok of his shit nd he had a six-pak, lolz. We started 2 mak out lik in Da Grudge. I pot my wetnes in his u-know-what sexily. He gut an orgy.  
  
“Oh Kaneki!111111!1 Oh mi fuking gud Kaneki!1111” he screemed passively as i got an eructation.  
  
“I luv u PeKaekni.” he whispred sexily and den we fel aspleep lol.


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for drugs or something whatever owlserum is. anyway suzuyas addicated to it i tihnk its a drug or some sort of alchol i dont eve nnkow

I wook up in da coffin de next day. Shuu waz gone. I got up and put on a blak tight sexah suitt that was all ripped at da end. There wuz red korset stuff going up da fornt and da bak and it came up 2 my abz. There wuz a slit in my pantz lik in mr & mr simth. I pot on ripped blak tits and blak stilton bo-ots. Suddenly…………………. Yasithok cocked on da door. I hopened it.  
  
“Hi Kineko.” he said. “Gezz wut u have 2 cum 2 Profesor Suzuyor’s office.”  
  
“Ok.” I said in a deprezzd voice. I had wanted to fuk Shuu or maybe lessen to MCR or Evonezcence. I came anyway.  
  
“So what the fuck happened 2 Yam and Amoon?” I asked Yozitork flirtily.  
  
“I fucking tortured them.” he answered in a statistic way. “They r in Korklea now, lol.”  
  
I laughed evilly.  
  
“Where r Shuu and Ghoula?” I muttered.  
  
“Dey are xcused form skool 2day.” Yoshimura moaned sexily. “Rite now they are watching Da Nigtmare b4 Xmas.”  
  
We went into da office. Proffesor Suzuta was there. He was wearing a goffik blak sui that was all ripped all over it  
  
He wuz drinking some Owilserum.  
  
He took out da Pensiv and the time-torner.  
  
“KAkeni, you will have to do anozzer session now. Also I need u to get me da cure 4 being adikited.” he said sadly. “Good luck. Fangz!”  
  
And then……….I jumped into the Prinsive again. Suddenly I looked around……………I was in da Grate Hall eating Fleash. It was mourning. I was sitting next to Satan. On a table was a tall gottik man wif long blak hair, pail skin and blue eyes wering a suit and blak Cronvrese shoes. He looked just like Charlyn Manson. I noticed……he was drinking a portent.  
  
“Whose he!11” I asked.  
  
“Oh, datz Profesor sUta.” Satan said. “He’s da Fleisch teacher…………..Kaneki?”  
  
“Yah?” I asked.  
  
“Did u know dat Marylin Mason is playing in Town tonight? And they r showing The Exercise at da movies b4 dat.”  
  
“Yah?”  
  
“Well…...want 2 go 2 da contort and da movie wif me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi i managed to squeeze this in b4 i go


	35. gost of u

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MEntions of suicide and self harm
> 
> sorry for the late update the internet sucks up here

I went in2 da Conmen Room finking of Satan. Suddenly I gasped………………..Shuu wuz there!111  
  
I grasped. He locked as hut as eva werring blak ledder pants, a blak Lonken Prak t-shrit and blak eyeliner.  
  
“Shuu what da fuk r u dong!111111” I gosped.  
  
“Huh?” he asked. Then I remembred. It wuzn’t Shuu. It was Miramo!1 He stil had two arms.  
  
“Oh hi Mirumo!1” I sed. “Im Kaneki the new student lol we shook handz.”  
  
“Yah Satan told me abot you.” Mirumo said. He pinted to a groop of sexxxy gottik guyz. They where siting in a corner kutting. It wuz Yoishitoki, Ghoul’s other dad and………………Yom! All of them were wearing blak eyeliner and blak Good Chralootte band shirts. “Lizzen I’m in a goth band wif those guys.” he said. “Were playing 2nite at da Marylin Mason show as back-up.  
  
“ORLY.” I ESKED.  
  
“Yeah.” he said. “Were calld XBlakXTearX. I play teh gutter. Yoshetokyo plays da drums” he said ponting to him. “Yom plays the boss. And Mastery plays the guitar to even fo we call him Samaro, after Samara in da ring.”  
  
“Hey bastards.” I told them they gave me Dethz tuch sin. Suddenly I gasped again. “But don’t u have a lead singer!” I asked. Mirumo looked dawn sadly.  
  
“We uzd to but he did. He contempted suicide by silting his rists.”  
  
“Oh my fuking god!11 Datz so fuking sad!1” I gasped.  
  
“Its okay but we need a new led snigger.” Samaro said.  
  
“Wel………..I said Im in a bnad myself.”  
  
“Rilly?” asked Yom. I cudnt belive it. He used 2 b goffik!111  
  
“Yeah were called Blody Gothik Rose 666. Do u wanna hr me sing?”  
  
Yeah said everyone. So the guys tok out der guitarz. They began to pay a song bi Gurn Day.  
  
“I wok dis empt stret on da bolevrad of broken dremz.” I sang sexily (I dnot own da lyrikz 2 dat song).. Every1 gasped.  
  
“Kaeneki? Will u join da band? Plz!1” begged Mirumo, Yoshitotoki, Samaro and Yom.  
  
“Um…….ok.” I shrugged. “Are we gong to play tonight?”  
  
“Yah.” they said.  
  
“Ok.” I said but I new dat I had 2 get a new outfit. I walked outside wondering how I kud go forward in time. Suddenly someone jumped in fornt of me. It wuz…..Morty Mcfli!1 He was wering a blak bnad tshrit and blak bagy jeans.  
  
“What da hell r u dong here!11” I asked.  
  
“I wil help u go frowad in tim Kakeni.” he said siriusly Den……….he took out a blak tim machine. I went in2 it and……………………..sudenly I wuz forward in tim!111


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for mentions of drugs and........... groop kutting sessions?? i d ont even know anymore

I loked around in a depresed way. Suddenly I saw Profesor Suzoya. B’lody Kazuichi, Yoichi and Shuu, Ghoul and Touka were their to.  
  
“OMFG Yuichiro I saw u nd Samaro and Yam nd everyone!11111 I kant beleev Yom uzd 2 b goffik!111111”  
  
“Yah I no.” Yoshitonk said sadly.  
  
“Oh hey there fuck.” Profesor Suzunya said in an emo voice dirnking some Owelserom.  
  
Hi fuker.” I said. “Lizzen, Satan asked me out to a gottik cornet and a movie so I need a sexah new outfit for da date. Also I’m playng in a gothic band so I need an ootfit for that too.”  
  
“Oh my satan!1” (geddit lolz koz hes gofik) gasped B’lody Kazuichi. “Want 2 go to Hot Topik to shop 4 ur outfit?”  
  
“OMFS, letz have a groop kutting session!11” said Profesor Suzuy.  
  
“I can’t fucking wait 4 dat but we need 2 get sum stuff first.” said TOUKA.  
  
“Yah we need sum portions for Profesor Suzuya so she wont be adikted 2 Oqlserum anymore nd also………….sum luv potion 4 Kakeni.” Shoe said resultantly.  
  
“Well we have medisin (lol geddit cuz sin) klass now.” Touka said so let’s go.  
  
We went sexily to medisin  class. But Yom wasn’t there. Instead there was…………………………………………Totoro!11111  
  
“Hey where the fuck is AromA!111” Shuu shouted angrily.  
  
“STFU!1” shooted Totoro. “He is in Coke now wif Yam and Amoon he is old and week he has kancer. “Now do ur work!111”  
  
My friendz and I talked arngrily.  
  
“Can you BELEVE Yom used to be gottik!1” Ghoul asked surprisedly.  
  
“DATZ IT!11” TOTORO SHOOTED ARNGRILY. “IM GETTING PROFESOR NOR!111”  
  
He stomped out angrily.  
  
Mi frendz and I began talking again. I began to drink some blod mixed wif cofee. Suddenly I saw Yoshmura in da cupboard.  
  
“WTF is he doing?” I asked. Then I looked at Shuu. He wuz wearing tonz of eyeliner nd he locked shexier den eva. Suddenly……………“YOSHIMUTA WUT DA FOK R U DOING!11” he shooted.  
  
I looked around…………….Yoshmura wuz putting sumfing in my glass of blod!11 Shoe and Ghoul started 2 beat him up sexily.  
  
“God u r such a posr!1” I shooted at Yoshmura. Suddenly I looked ar what he was putting in da blood. It was………………Mariguana!111


	37. Chapter 37

SHOE’S PONT OF VIEW LOL  
  
Ghoul and I chaind Yoshmura 2 da floor.  
  
“Oh mi fucking satan!11” Kakeni said. He wuz so hot. “Maybe I cud uze Mariguana 2 make Satan foll in love wif me faster!1”  
  
“But u r so sexy and wonderful aneway Pepe,” said Ghoul. “Why would u need it?”  
  
“To make everyfing go faster lol.” said Kakeni.  
  
“But you wont have to do it wif him or anyfing, will u?” I asked jelosly.  
  
“OMFG u guyz r so scary!11” said Yoriko, a fucking prep.  
  
“Shut the fuk up!1” said Touka.  
  
“Ok well anyway lets go 2 Profesor Suzuyna’s room.”  
  
Shuu, Kanebi and I went to Profesor Suzenuya’s room. But Profesor Suzuya wasn’t there. Instead Eto Yosh was.  
  
Oh hi fuckers she said. Lizzen, I got u sum kewl new clovez.  
  
I took out da cloves from da bag. It was a goffik blak leather short shorts that said ‘666’ on da bak, black stilton bootz, blood red fishnetz and a blak corset.  
  
“OMG fangz!” I said hugging her in a gothic way. I took da clothes in da bag.  
  
“OK Profesor Suzuya isnt hr what the fuk should we do?” asked Shuu. Suddenly he loked at a sign on da blak wall.  
  
“Oh my fuking satan!1” I screamed as I read it. On it said Evry1 Profesor Suzuya is away. He is too gottik he is in Cockuria now. Classes shal be taught by Arimble who is bak but he shall not be principal 4 now. Sincerely Profesor Norbo.

 

“OMFG!111” I shoted arngrily. “How could they do that!11”  
  
Suddenly Aroma came.  
  
“WHAT DA HELL R U DONG IN MY OFICE!1” he began to shoot angrily. Sudwenly I saw Morty Mcfly’s blak tim machine!111 I jumped seductivly in2 it leaving Shuu and Ghoul. Sudenly I wuz back in tim!11 I looked around. It was……………Profesor Unta’s efface! I sneaked around. Suddenly I saw da Mariguana on his desk. It wuz blak wif blood-red pentagramz in it. It was the shape of a cross. I put it in my poket. Suddenly da door opened it wuz……..Profesor Ura!11  
  
OMG wut r u doing fuker he shooted angrily I don’t kno wut da fuk r u DOING I SHOUTED ANGRILY.  
  
“Oh sorry I wuz just looking around koz I thought it wuz class.” you said finally hoping he couldn’t c da weed in ur pocket.  
  
“Oh ok u can go now.” said Profesor Uta.  
  
You went to the conmen room after putting on my clothes. Yoshi, Samaro and Yom were there practicing Ghoulz will Never Hurt U by MCR.  
  
“Oh hi you guys.” I said seductively. “Wheres Satan?”  
  
“Oh she’s cumming.” said Yoichi. “BTW u can kall me Hades now.” Suddenly Satan came. She was wearing a smexxy blak leather mini, blak congres shoes, a Slipnot tank top and a blak ripped dress.  
  
“Ok I will see you guyz at da concert.” I said and then I went with Satan.


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning for mentions of suicide

Satan and I walked 2 her car. It wuz a blak car wif pentagrams all over it. On da license plate said 666 just lik Shuu’s car. I went in it seduktivly. Stan started 2 drive it. We talked about Satanism (lolz she wuz named after Satan), kuttting, musik and being goffik.  
  
“Oh my satan, Gerard is so fuking hot!11” Eto agreed as we smoked sum weed.  
  
“Lol, I totally decided not 2 comit suicide when I herd Hilena.” I said in a flirty voice. “……….Hey Satan do u know da cure 4 when ppl r adikted 2 Owelseruem?”  
  
“Well………………” she thought. “I fink u have 2 eat Ghoul fleh.”  
  
Suddenly Emo parked da car behind a blak movie theater. Satan and I walked outside. We went in2 da movie tether were they were showing da Excercist. In it a boy and a gurl were doing it sudenly a cereal killer came lol. Satan and I laughed at da blood koz we’re sadists.  
  
While Satan was watching da movie, I had an idea. I took Satan’s gothic blak Nightmare b4 Christmas cigar sexily from her poket and put sum Mariguana in it. I put it bak in her blak Emile the Strange bag. Satan turned arund and started 2 smoke it. Blak cloudz wif red pentagramz ind em started 2 fly around everywhere.  
  
“OMG!111” Satan said jumping up. I gasped koz I wuz afraid shed notizd. “Kakeni gess what?”  
  
I new that the weed had worked.  
  
“Mariguana has not been invented yet so it will not work.” She said. “2 badd coz I wanted 2 use sum on u.”  
  
“Kul.” I raised my eye suggestingly. And den………. she tok of my cloves sexily and we started 2 make out. I tok of her shit. She had bobs justr lik Amy Lee!11 We frenched.  
  
“Xcuze me but u r going 2 have 2 leave!111” shooted da lady behind us she was a prep.  
  
“Fuk u!11” I said. Suddenly…………………. I attaked her eating her.  
  
“Noooooo!11” she screamed. All the preps in da theater screamed but everyone else crapped koz Satan and I loked so cute 2gether. Satan and I started to walk outside.  
  
“Zomg how did u do that?” Ento asked in a turned-on voice.  
  
“I’m a ghoul.” I said as we went into the car.  
  
“Siriusly?” she gasped.  
  
“Yah siriusly.” I said drinking sum beer. Satan started 2 drive da car. I smelled happily.  
  
“Itz too bad we didn’t get 2 c da rest of the movie, don’t u fink?”  
  
“Yah.” I said as we kised passively. Satan parked in a blak driveway next 2 da place where Shuu and I had watched GC for the frist time. We went inside where Marylin Mason wuz playing and started to mosh lol.  
  
“Anti-ppl now uve gone 2 far Jeus Krist Superstar!1111” screamed Marlin on da stage. We did the devil fingers. I started 2 dance really close to Satan. She was so shmexay!1 She looked at me all emo with her 1 gothic red eye and she looked exactly like Amy Lee. I almost got an orgaism!1 Suddenly Marylin Mason stopped singing.  
  
“I wood like to peasant……………..XBlakXTearX!11” he said. I ran onstage. Mirumo, Samaro, Yom and Hades were there. They started 2 play their instilments. I got onstag.  
  
“Wel if u wonted honesty datz all u had 2 say!1111” I sang. (I dnot own da lyerix 2 dat song) My voice sounded lik a pentagram betwen Joel Madden and Gerard Woy. Everyone clappd. Satan got an organism. “I’M NUT OKAY!1” I sang finaly. Suddenly Mirumo started playing da song wrong by mistake.  
  
“OMFG!1” yielded Matsuri. “Wut the fuck?”  
  
“Woops im sory!” said Mirumo.  
  
“You fuking ashhole!1” Matsuri shouted angrily.  
  
“U guys are such prepz!11” Yom said. “Cum on it wuz a mistake!1”  
  
“Yah itz not his fault!11” said Yoshitoki.  
  
“No he ruined the fucking song!1” yelled Samaro.  
  
“U guys stop!11” I shotoed angrily but it waz 2 late. They all began 2 fight. Sudenly Samaro took out hiz nife.  
  
“OMFG no!11” shouted Mermo but it wuz 2 late Matsuri tried 2 shoot off his arm.  
  
And den……………………………I jumped secxily in front of da bullet!11  
  
“No!111” yielded everyone but it wuz 2 late suddenly everyfing went blak.


	39. I Am A Trolling Genious, lolz

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am an extremely immature pathetic idiot girl, I know. Out of boredom, I crack this girl's passy for fun (and it took less than 8 minutes to do it too) and will probably get in a shitload of trouble. Which I probably deserve 'cause I'm being a troll right now. Meh.
> 
> And I present to you MY crappy part in this story. (And take note I haven't even finished reading this fic yet, but instead skip over to skim chapter 38.) Flame, laugh, do whatever you want "preps."

I, the American retail wearing japanese ghoul Stu, coughed up blood.  
  
Satan kneeled down beside me.  
  
"Noooooooooooooooo! Don't die!"  
  
I gave her a rueful smile. "I'm sorry. It's something I had to do, to fufill my duty as the noble gothic Gary Stu."  
  
Satan sobbed. "I love you Kaneki."  
  
"I love you two. I'll...I'll see you in hell." I mumbled, already finding my surroundings fading to black.  
  
B'loody Kazuichi Ukelele suddenly popped into the room for no apparent reason. He frowned when he realized the room was oddly quiet, but at the sight of Kaneki's lifeless body, he screamed. His face became pale with horror. He screamed for the healers, Arima, Akeera, and every single gothic person he could think of.  
  
Suddenly, a glow started to surround the body of Kaneki. Everyone stared in shock. His body started to lift ever so slowly and then, to everyone's shock, it started to incinerate.  
  
When everyone realized what was happening, they rushed over to try to rescue the body, but it was too late, the Stu became nothing more then a pile of ashes.  
  
A loud resounding of everyone bellowing "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!!" filled the room.  
  
A flash of white light from the ashes then started to bounce around the room. Everyone cowered in fear and were temporarily blinded. When it was all over, things changed.  
  
All the silly goth clothes dropped from everyone's bodies (AN//I will refuse to explain how the hell that happened.) and, in their place, clothes the characters would normally wear in canon appeared on their bodies.  
  
When everyone got over the shock of becoming free of the gofick power, everybody cheered. Everyone started singing 'Ding dong the stu is dead...' Well, that is, until all the TG characters realized the true implications of becoming more canon like again.  
  
All the characters who were supposed to be dead fell to the floor, their bodies cold and lifeless. Arima and Eto started dueling. On the left side of the two, the battle of the CCG and Aogiri were reaching a climax.  
  
And, because the replacement author also likes to screw around with canon, Shuu and Banjou fled the scene and got married.  
  
\--------  
  
Meanwhile...  
  
Down in hell, Kaneki shed a single tear because of his current situation. A situation that would live on for all eternity. Or at least until the end of fanfiction time.  
  
He lost it all, but he knew he had to remain strong. Nothing would ever break him down.  
  
He looked down over her pale body, and frowned. 'Where are my emo clothes?' He asked himself in confusion.  
  
And then it occured to him...  
  
For his shirt, she was wearing a bright Hawaiian shirt with a little seagull on the (right or left? I can't remember) side. Below that, she was wearing denim jeans with the "destroyed" look on it. And then Kaneki realized, on his shoulder, he was carrying a pretty bag with an eagle on it that said Live Your Life written all over the bag.  
  
Kaneki supressed the urge to scream. Here he was decked out in clothes prep to the extreme wearing stuff from Abercrombie and Fitch, American Eagle, AND Hollister.  
  
Panicked, Kaneki hastily tried to take off the Hawaiian shirt, but underneath it, there was another Hawaiian shirt underneath. Kaneki frowned, and looked under his shirt. All she saw was his abs. Kaneki tried to remove the shirt again. But to his frustration, there was yet again another shirt to replace it.  
  
"THIS IS UNLOGICAL AND DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE!!" Kaneki bellowed out to the air. He failed to see the irony in his statement, how hypocrytical his words were, seeing as he was practically calling the kettle black here.  
  
Kaneki slit his writs and mumbled to himself, "Omigod."  
  
/End Crap Fic.

 

\--------

 

  
Sincerely,  
  
An-Anon-Author-Who-Will-Silently-Not-Reveal-Her-Identity-Because-She's-A-Coward :P  
  
A.K.A. Just a troll with rocks for brains.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lolz


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning for suicide and self harm i guess

I woke up in da Norse’s offace on a special gothik coffin. Yoshmura wuz in da bed opposite me in a comma coz Goul and Shuu had bet him up. Mr. Koma was cleaning the room.  
  
“Oh mi satan wut happened!” I screamed. Suddenly Exo came. She loked less mean then usual.  
  
“Get the fuk out u fucking bitch!11” I yielded.  
  
“Thou hath nut killd Ghoul yet!11” she said arngrily. Sudenly she started 2 cry tearz of blood al selective.  
  
“Etxo? OMFG what’s wrong!111” I asked.  
  
Sudenly………. Mirumo, Profesor Suzunya and Yuichiro came! B’lody Kazuichi and Ghoul were wif dem. Every1 was holding blak boxez. ETO DISAPAERD.  
  
“OMFG Kakeni ur alive!111” Scremed Ghoul. I hugged him and B’lody Kazuichi.  
  
“What the fuk happened?” I asked dem. “Oh my satan!11 Am I lik dead now?” I gosped.  
  
“Kakeni u were almost shot!11” said Yoichitoki. “But da ballet could not kill u since u were form anodder time.”  
  
“But fangz anyway!1” said Mirumo holding oot his arm. I gasped. He had two arms!  
  
“OMG I cant beleve Ghoulz’ dad shot u!1” I gasped.  
  
“Well 2 be honest Yom wuz pozzesd by Yom bak den.” said Matsuri.  
  
“Yah he wuz a spy.” Yoshotoroko said sadly. “He wuz really a Aogiri.”  
  
“And he wuz such a fuking poser 2!11” said Mirumo. “He didn’t even realy no hu GC were until I told him.” Well anyway everyone tarted 2 give me presents. I was opening a blak box wif red 666s (there wuz a dvd of corps bride in it) on it when I gasped. Mr. Komma looked up angrily coz he h8ed gothz.  
  
“Hey haz aneone fuking seen Shuu?” I asked gothikally.  
  
“No Shu told me he wood be watching Hoes of Wax.” said Profesor Juzzuo. “He duzzn’t know dat ur better. Anyway da norse said u could get up. Cum on!1”  
  
I got up suicidally. Mirumo, Yoshimurka and Profesor Suzuya left. I wuz wearing a blak leather nightgun. Under that I had on a sexxy blak leather thong trimed wif blak lace, with a matching thong that said goffik gurl on the butt and sexy fishnetz that kind hooked on 2 my thong (if u don’t get da idea massage me ill tell u). I put on a blak fishnet top under a blak MCR t-shirt, a blak leather Shorts with blak lace and congress shoes. I left the hospital’s wings wif B’lody Kazuichi, Touak and Ghoul.  
  
“OMFG letz celebrate!11” gasped Touka.  
  
“We can go c Hose of Wax wif Shuu!1” giggled Ghoul.  
  
“Letz go lizzen 2 GC and kut ourselvz 666!11” said Banjou. We opened da conmen room door sexily. And den………..I gasped……………………………………… Shuu wuz there doing it wif Yom!1111111111111111111111111 He wuz wearing a blak tshirt wif 666 on da front and baggy jeanz.  
  
“U fucking prep!11” we all yielded angrily.  
  
“Yah u betrayed us!111” shooted Ghoul angrily as he took out his blak gun.  
  
“No u don’t understand!1” screamed Shuu sadly as he took his thingie out of Yamo’s.  
  
“No shit u fuking suk u preppy bastard!111” said Touka trying 2 attak him (u rok girl!1). I ran suicidally to my room I sexily took a steak out.  
  
"Kakeni no!11111” screamed Shuu but it wuz 2 l8 I had slit muh ritsts wif it suddenly everyfing went blak again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS WAS CONFUSING BECUASE IM TAKIGN THIS FROM THE REHOST SITE THING AND THIS PART WAS IN BOTH 39 AND 40 BUT UH


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> were comign to the end of the ride But idont think anyone really cares anymore so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> triggers for self harm and suicide mentison

When I wook up I wuz in a strange room. I loked around I wuz wearing da same outfit I had when is performed wif XBlakXTearX!!!!!11 I looked arund confusedly. It wuz da Norse’s office but it looked difrent!! On da wall wuz a pik of Marlyin Munzon!!!1111 (just imagin dat he is an 80s goffik band 2 ok koz he is more old den panic?! at da dizcko or mcr) der wuz also a goffik blak Beatles calander with a picture of the beetlez werring iyeliner and blak cloves. On it said ‘1980.’  
  
“OMFG!!! Im back in Tim again!!!!111” I screamed loudly. Suddenly Satan(dis is actually eto 4 photo refrenss!). Edo wuz wearing a blak MCR tank top, a mini and fishnets. She looked so sexah I almost had an orgy!!!!11  
  
“OMFG Kakeni r u ok.” She asked gothikally.  
  
“Yah Im okay 4 ur in4mation.” I snapped sexily. “OMG am I dedd???” koz I remembered I had jumped in front off da bullet from Matser’s gun. I also rememberd cing Shoe doing it wif Yom!!!!111  
  
I guessed dat when I had slit mi wrists I had went bak in tim instead of dieing. I knoew I could go forward in time if I found a time-toner or da tim machine.  
  
“No ur not dead.” Satan reassured suicidally as she smokd a cigarette sexily and smoke came all over her face. “Ur a ghoul so u kant die frum a bullet. Cum on now lets go c how Hyde’s dad is doing.”  
  
I noo dat da real reason I didn’t die from da ballet was koz I was from da future. “WTF!!!! Matsuri almust shot Miirumo!!!” I said indigoally. I knew that Matsuri had really ben possezzed, but I didn’t want him2 know I knew.  
  
“Yah I know but he had a headache he wz under a lot of stress.” Satan reasoned evilly.  
  
“I guess that’s ok.” I said because Matsuri hadn’t really shot Mirumo. Also I noo that Mirumo wood now have 2 arms instead of 1. I walked seduktivly outside with Satan. Suddeni I saw a totally sexi goffik bi guy!!!!!11 He had bleched blond hair wiv blak streaks up 2 his ears and he wuz wearing goffik blak iliner, a blak Green Day shirt (it showed billy joel wiv bolnd hair since it was da eighties), blak congress shoes and black baggy pants. He walked in all sexly like Gerrd way in the vido for I Don’t 3 u lyk I did yesterday and you cud see a blak tear on his face lyk da wmn in dat video. “Hey.” He sed all qwietly and goffically.  
  
“Who da fuck is that?” I asked angrly cos I did nut kno him.  
  
“Dis is…Shinhara!!!!!!!!!11” Sed Edu. “He used to be in XBlackXTearX 2 but he had 2 dropp out koz he broke his arm.  
  
“Hey Shineohara.” I said seductively evn tho I wuz nut tring to b.  
  
“Lol hi Kakeni.” He answered but then he ran away bcos he had hair of ghouly crature. He was humming Welcum 2 da Blak Prade under his breth( I no dat is not 80s but pretend it is ok!!)  
  
“Bye.” I sed all sexily.  
  
“Dat was Shenohard. He used 2 b my boifreind but we broke up.” Satan said sadly, luking at her blak nails.  
  
“OMFG I can get u bak 2gether!” I said fingering something I didn’t know wuz in my pocket- a blak Kute is What we Aim 4 cideo ipod that I could take videos wif (duz ne1 elze no about dem??? dey kik azz!!!!).  
  
“Ok u can 4get about ur class for now, Shinehara. Im going 2 show u something grate!!!!1” I led them to da Great Hall. “Cum on u guys.”  
  
Mirummo, Matsuri, Yoshi and Yorm were all in da Grate Hall. Mirumo woudnt talk wiv Matsuri because he had tried 2 shoot him.  
  
“Go fuk urself you fukking douche!” he shouted at him. “Shoe is never gong 2 b frends with ghoul now!!1”  
  
“Yah go fuck urself Samaro!” Yomo agreed but I noo he wuz lying koz it had been his folt Matsuri had almost shot Mirumo.  
  
“B quiet u guys.” I said sexily. Mi plan waz working oot great. Now I kood make Ento good wivout doing it with her! Now Ghoul’s dad wood never die and “OK Satan and SHorinhara, u guys can start making out.” I said and I started 2 film dem wiv da ipod.  
  
“Kool.” said Yoichitoki as Owl and Shinohara started 2 make out sexily. We watched as tdey started 2 take each odderz cloves off sexily. Samaro, Yoshitok, Yorm and Mirumo all watched koz dey wer prolly bi. I noo yomo was bi.  
  
“Oh my fukking god!!!! Eto! Eto!” screamed Shinorhar as his glock touched Eto’s hole thingy.  
  
But suddenly everything stopped as da door opend and in kame………………Aroma and Mr. Koma!!!!111111111111


	42. da blak parade

I sat depressedly in Arimjob’s office wiv ShinohARA, Satan, Matsuri, Yoicijtoki, Yom and Mirumo. Arima was sitting in front of us cruelly. He looked more young den he did in da future. He had taken da ipod away and wuz now lizzening 2 a shitty Avril Levine song.  
  
“What da hell is this anyway??” he cackled meanly. I hoped he didn’t find out dat I was frum another time.  
  
“Whatever u do don’t blame Kineki, u jerk.” Satan said.  
  
“Yah, siriusly he was trying to get Satan and Shirnohara back together.” Yoichitoki said deviantly.  
  
“Be quiet you Satanists.” Arima cockled. “If ur lucky I’ll probably send u all to Cokuria!!! That will teach u to copolate in da Great Hall.” He changed the song on da ipod 2 a n’Sync song. Suddenly I noticed sumfing strong about da Ipod. It was slowly chonging! Aroma didn’t notece.  
  
“You fucking poser.” I muttoned.  
  
“I bet you’ve never herd of GC.” Matsuri said. Know I knew waht da iPod was chonging in2- Morti McFly’s tim machine!!!!!11  
  
“Shut up Mortsui!!!” Shoe’s dad shouted.  
  
“Yeah shut up!!!!” Yorm said preppily.  
  
“No u shut up Aroma!!!!!!!!1111” said Eto.  
  
“I’ve had enough of u Satanists in my school!!!!” shouted Arima spuriously.  
  
Suddenly I grabed da iPod from him. “Evry1! Jump in b4 itz 2 l8!!! I jumped in2 it. But only 1 odder person jumpd in. It was……..Satan.  
  
“You dunderheads!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111” screamed Arima wisely as we went.  
  
I looked around. I wuz in da conmen room wiv Satan. I was wearing blak plaid shorts with hot pink fishnetz, a sexy blak MCR corset and blak stiletto boots with pink pentagroms on dem. My earrings were blake Satanist sins.  
  
“Hey kool where iz dis?” she asked in an emo voice.  
  
“Dis is da future. Amria’s iPod dat he tried to take away from me wuz really also a tim machine.” I told her.  
  
“Kool what’s an ipatch?” she whimpered.  
  
“It’s somefing u use 2 lizzen 2 music.” I yakked.  
  
“OMFG kool wait whatz a 4-letter-wurd 4 dirt?” she esked in her sexah voice.  
  
“Um I guezz sand????” I laid confuesdly.  
  
“Yah I wuz just triinyg to make sure u were stil da same perzon.” She triumphently giggled.  
  
Suddenly some of my friends walked in.  
  
“OMG you’re fucking alive!” said SEidou wearing a blak leather jocket, blak baggy pants and a goffik black Frum First to Last shirt. I explained 2 him why I was alive.  
  
“Konichiwa, fucker.” said Touka. She was wearing a blak corset showing off her boobs with lace all around it and red stipes on it. With it she waz wearing a blak leather miniskirt, big blak boots, white foundation, blak eyeliner, red eyeshadow, and blak lipstick.  
  
“Hey, motherfucker.” Said Diabola with her brown hair. She waz wearing a black P?ATD t-shit and blak baggy pants.  
  
“Hey whose that, Kineki?” B’loody Kazuichi questioned as he walked in wearing a black t-shit with a red pentarom on it with lace at the bottom, red letther pants with blak lace, and black stolettoes.  
  
“Oh its Satan.” I told him and he nodded knowing da truth.  
  
Suddenly Satan started to cry.  
  
“Are you okay Satan?” we asked concernedly.  
  
“OMFG ur from da future!!1! What if u don’t like m anymore koz were from difrent times?????” she asked.  
  
“No I still like you.” I said sexily to her.  
  
“Ok.” She said ressuredly. I let her lizzen 2 Teenagers by MCR on my ipod while I was about to go outside to find out some fingz. I gave Diabola a signal to keep Satan occupied. Satan fell asleep. I took the iPod. I was about to walk outside. Profesor Suzuya ran in!!!!!!!1111 He was wearing a gothic blak jacket with depressing blak stripes, white and blak stripped tights, and red converse shoes. He was wearing LOTS of blak iliner.  
  
“Oh my fucking god, where’s Shuu!!!!111 How did Yom get back here!!! I tohot he wuz in Kacckhla.” I asked sadly.  
  
“Kaneki I was so worried abott u but I know you can’t fucking die because you’re a ghroul. Yomo came back because that girl Yoriko freed him. I never liked her she was a bad student.” Juuzo said reassuredly.  
  
“That bitch!!!!!!!11 Did she also free Yoshmura and Amoon?” I shouted angrily. I hated Yoriko because she was a fucking prep.  
  
“Yes they are on the loose at this school. Aroma is back Totoro is on his way to help evry1. Tell evry1 u see to lock themselves in their conman room!!!!!!” Janzou said worriedly.  
  
“OK. But where’s Chuu???? How cum he was doing it with Yom?????”  
  
“I dunno why but I know he almost tried 2 commit suicide after he saw u almost kill urself.” he said.  
  
“OMG dat’s terrible!!!!!!!!” I gasped. Satan was still asleep, so she couldn’t tell what was going on. Then I said “Lizzen evry1, I have sumthing imptent to do. in hr evry1 stay!!!!!!!!!” wiv dat I ran out.  
  
“Good luck Pepe!!!!!!!11” everyone cried.  
  
I ran sexily down the staris in2 da Grate Hall while da portraits around looked at me scaredly. There was hardly ne1 else in the stairs nd tere was an atmosphere of horrer. On da way I saw Yoriko laughing on da stairs. She was wearing a a slutty pink shirt wiv flowers on it, a blu jean skirt Abercromie and pink stiletoos. She looked jest like a pentagram of those fucking preps Hilery Duff and Lindsey Lohan.  
  
“You fucking bitch!!!!!111” I shouted angrily.  
  
“No, your totally a bitch. Now Owl will like totally kill u!” she laughed.  
  
“Crucious!!!!!!!!!1” I shouted selectively pontificating my blak you-know-what and she started screaming koz she was being tortured and I laughed sodistically.  
  
“No!!!!!!1 Help me!!!!!!1 Please!!!!!!!!1” Yoriko screamed terrifiedly.  
  
I put up my middle finger at her. In her hand I saw da video camera Yomo and Ampon had used to take da video of me. I put the tape of Eto doing it with Sinhahra onto it. Then I continued to rown down the stairs with the camera. When I had reached da Grate Hall I saw Ghoul Nagachika. “OMG Ghouk!!!!111” I yielded.  
  
We hugged each udder happily. He locked at me wif his gothic red eyes and spiky blak hair. Around them were blak eyeliner and iShadow. His He wus wearing a blak leather Jackson, ledder pants, a Panik at da Disko concert shirt and his blak congress shoes. He looked mor like Gerard way from My Chemica Romance than ever. “I wus so worried you died!” moaned Ghoul.  
  
“I know but Im a ghoul lol. When I woke up I wuz back in 1980, so neway I bought Eito from when she was yung with me.”  
  
“Where’s Shuu?” I asked spuriously.  
  
“Shuu? You mean that fukking poser who betroyed you?” Ghou snarkled with anger in his sexy voice.  
  
“I NO BUT WE HAV 2 FIND HIM.” I SED SMARTY.  
  
“I’ll do it den.” Hide said angstily.  
  
“OK.” I argreed. Suddenly……….all da lights in da room went out. And den…….da Agori Mark appeared.  
  
“Oh my fucking satan!!!!!” Hide shouted.  
  
“I fink Owle has arrivd.” I sed anxiously. “Fuck, I have to find Shuu!!1 I guess we shood separate.”  
  
“Ok.” Ghoul sed diapperating. Sadly I ran into the Great Hall.


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning for smoking and self harm

I walked sexily into the Great Hall. It was empty except for one person. Shuu was there!! He sat der in deddly bloom in his blak 666 t-shirt and his baggy blak pants. He had slit his wrists!!!!!111 I felt mad at him for having sexwith Yomo but I felt sorry for him. He looked just like Gerard Way with his red eyes and his pale white face.  
  
“Shuu are you okay????” I asked.  
  
“I’m not okay.” he screamed depressedly. I thought of the MCR song nd I got even more depressed koz that song always makes me cry. I gave him a pot cigarette and he started to smoke it.  
  
“Oh Shuu why did you do it with that fucking bastard Yomo?” I asked teardully.  
  
“I-” Shuu began to say but suddenly Amon and Mr. Koma appearated in2 da room!! They didn’t see us.  
  
“Im so glad we me and Yomo were freed.” said Amoon.  
  
“Dam, this job would be great if it wasn’t 4 da fukking students!” Mr. Koma argreed.  
  
“Pop addelum!!!!!111” I yielded angrily pointing my you-know-what at them.  
  
“Noooooooo!!!!1” Amon shouted as chains came on him. Mr.Koma ran away.  
  
“You fukking perv.” I said laughing wiv depths of evil and depressedness in my voice. “Now u have 2 tell us where Owel is or I’m gong 2 torture u!!!!”  
  
“I don’t now where she is!!!!1111” said Amoon. Suddenly Satan and Ghoul ran in2 da room. Ghou didn’t know who Satan was really.  
  
“Oh my satan, we were so worried about u guys!!1” Ghoul said. I looked sexily at Shuu with his goffik red eyes with contacts, blak t-shirt that said 666 on it and pale skin like Gerord Way, Ghou with his sexy blak hair and red eyes just like Frank Iero and Satan who looked jist like Ami Lee then.  
  
I selectively took the caramel from my pocket. And then….. I began frenching Shuu sexily. Amoon gasped. Shuu began to take all of his cloves off and I could see his white sex-pack. Then Ghoul took his own clotes off too. We all began making out 2gther sexily. I took off my blak leather jakcet, my blak lace thong and the rest of my clothes. Every1 took their glocks out. “Oh mi satan!! Shuu!!!!” I screamed as he put his hardness in my thingy Den he did da same fing to Hide. I began making out wiv Satan and she joined in. “OMS!!!111” cried Ghoul. “Oh Ghoul! Ghoul!!!” I screamed screamed. “Oh Satan!!!!!” yelled Hide in pleasore. Amoon watched in shock. Wee took turns doing torture curses on him koz we were all sadists. Suddenly……………………………..  
  
………….a big blak car that said 666 on the license plate flew strait through da windows. And Yom wuz in it!!!!!!!11


	44. Chapter 44

“Dat’s mi car!!!!” shooted Shuu angrily. But suddenly it was revealied who was in da car. It wuz………….Yomo!!!!!  
  
“I shall free you Amoon but first you must help me kill these idiotic donderheads.” he said cruelly from the car as it flew circumamcizing above us. “Kaneki Dark’ness Dementia Raven Pepe Kaneki Way must be killed. Den the Once-ler shall never die!!!!”   
  
“You fucking prep!!!” yelled Shuu. Then he loked at me sadly. “I forgot to tell u, Kaneki. I actually love Shuu. The sex was constitutional”  
  
We all put our clothes on quickly except Satan. We were so scarred!!!!1 But Satan didn’t change. Instead she changed into a woman with mispelled eyes, no nose, a gray robe and white skin. She had changed into………… One Eled Owle!!!!!!!111  
  
“I knew who thou were all along.” she cackled evilly and sarcastically at me. “Now I shall kill thee all!!!!!!” Thunder came in da room.  
  
“No plz don’t kill us!” pleaded Ghoul. Suddenly Touka, B’loody Kazuichi, Diabola, Seidou, Drocula, Yoshmura, Akira, Aroma, Yoshitoki and Mirumo all ran in.  
  
“What is da meaning of dis?” Aroma asked all angrily and Owl lookd away (bcos aroma is da only preson she is scared of.) She did a spell with her bobs and suddenly her kagane came to her sexily. Owxel flew above the roof evilly on her kackgane.  
  
“Oh my goth!” Unta gosped. (geddit kos im goffik)  
  
“The Once Owl shall kill all of you. Then you must submit to her!!!!” yomo ejaculated menacingly.  
  
“You fucking preps!" Yoshitoki shouted angrily.  
  
“I know a four-letter word 4 dirt, CRUCIATUS!!!” screamed Hide but da sparks from his you-know-what only hit Shuu’s car. It fell down Yom quickly crowled out of it and picked up the cideo camera.  
  
“Oh my fucking god!!!1” I cried becoze the video of me in da bathrum, the video of me dong it wif Shoe and the video of Satan doing it with  
  
“If you kill me then deze cideos will be shown to everyone in the skull. Then u can be just like that goffik guy Perez Hillton.” He laughed meanly.  
  
“No!” I scremed. “FYI I hav da picter of u doing it with Amoon!!!!11”  
  
“Whats he talking abott??????” Amon slurped as he sat in chains.  
  
“I saw 2 he’s gunna show evry1 da picter!!!111” Hide shouted angrily.  
  
“Shut up!!!111’” Ampkin roared.  
  
“Foolish ignoramuses!!!!!!” yielded Owl from her kagane. “Thou shall all dye soon.”  
  
“Think again you fucking humen poser!!!!!1” Hide yelled and then he and Diabla and Seidou both took out blak guns! But Owil took out her own one.  
  
“U guyz are in a Latin stand-of!!!!!!!111” I shouted despariedrly.  
  
“Acco Seidou's you-know-what!!!11” cried Eno nd suddenly Sedou’s meat stick was in her hands. “Now I shall kill thee all and Kaveni u will die!!!!!!!!11111”  
  
She maid lighting come all over da place.  
  
“Save us Kaenki!” Armin cried.  
  
I cried sexily I just wanted 2 go 2 the commen room and slit my wrists with mi friends while we watched Shark Attak 3 and Saw 2 and do it with Shuu but I knew I had 2 do somefing more impotent.  
  
“ABRA KEDABRA!!!!!!!!!!!11111” I shooted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im free


End file.
